Need help with succint responses yet not JADEing

[Unknown]

I have tremendous anxiety if I run into my FOO, or extended FOO, especially if they ask me about going NC with Nmom and Nsis. I have even more anxiety if I run into either of them, especially with the holidays approaching and people are out and about. My FOO lives somewhat nearby. Has this happened to you? What did you do?  I can't fathom every question thrown at me, but I want to be prepared. The last time an out of town remote family member asked me "How is your mom" I just said "Fine." and switched the subject. I was pleased with that. But in case there are other triggering questions, I want to be prepared and not emotionally caught off guard. What are some helpful tips you can share to do this effectively without JADE? Perhaps some helpful Q and A examples would be very helpful. I figure if I practice, I won't get tongue tied and I will have less anxiety if I ever run into members of my FOO.  I know sooner or later, I may run into someone who will bring it up, especially since the holidays are approaching.
I know that's extended FOO interprets my NC as simply 'playing chicken'' or the ST. As you all know, NC is  not that, AT ALL, so I want to have the right thing rehearsed and prepared in retort to whatever comes up.

[StayWithMe]

"You should give Mom a call.  I know she'd love to hear from you."

[moglow]

  Always a good response. I've answered with, "She was same as always last time we talked. What's going on with you these days? I've not seen you in ages!" Think non committal, deflect to another subject, turn questions back on them. A puzzled frown followed by very direct change of subject also works fir the persistent nosiley ones.

I think most people reach for the most obvious, and not so many really want to know the details of her inner fracas. If she wants to tell it, that's on her and she can tell whatever version makes her liok good. I'd suggest you steer clear of the whole subject regardless of their questions.

[Unknown]

Thanks, Mo.
That's what I was looking for.
"same as always!"
haha
Great reply.
Any other great responses that deflect would be great. I do not wish to discuss my going NC with anyone. Too many flying monkeys.
Gives me anxiety. So having great pat answers prepared are great. I would love it if anyone else can share any more great responses to intrusive questions.

[Starboard Song]

Statements/Questions I've gotten and how I fielded them:

Your son is going to resent you one day if you don't fix this.
"I know. He might, and I worry about that and take it seriously. But we will do our level best to be honest and clear every step of the way, and I hope he will be able to understand."

Don't you miss having them around?
"I miss many things. And I appreciate your concern. I know you respect that we are making hard the decisions to our level best."

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person, and forgive.
"I completely agree. Forgiveness is so important. I forgive many people that I do not visit with, of course."

Have they really ever been that bad?
"I assure you we've acted with due caution and constraint. This was the necessary course for our future."

You know they'll old one day and need your help.
"I do. That'll be fine when the time comes." (no need to get into what I do and don't plan to do)

You could always have them over for one visit: to give them a chance.
"We're aware of many options, thank you. I appreciate your interest."

[StayWithMe]

"You should give Mom a call.  I know she'd love to hear from you."

Just a little rant here ... as my parents always liked being in the middle of things.  They would play messenger with things like this urging me .... exhorting me to call this person.  When I did and I either they never returned the call or behaved in a way that ran counter the expectations one would have, my parents would always blame me for "doing something wrong" or "not trying hard enough" with that person.

What a way to set up your child ... including adult child for feelings of failure and rejection.

I stopped following these directions.  so then I would get from my father "Are you calling to call them?"  I might answer "I don't know.  I haven't decided."  and he would respond "What do you mean you haven't decided."  I came to the point in deciding that that's very aggressive and unacceptable behavior.

[AnneH]

My favorite reply is "I'm sorry, that's not something I care to discuss." Remember, just because they bring it up doesn't mean they get a reaction from you. Your "image" among your FOO couldn't get any worse due to your NC anyway, and that won't change for as long as you maintain NC. You have already told your FOO  *NO* by going NC and you can do it again to any intrusive questions that are directed your way. If they continue, you can just say "You have two choices: we can either change the subject or I'm going to end the conversation right here."

Think of them and deal with them as you would a toddler who asks an "adult" question or is having a tantrum. 

[Unknown]

Thank you all, for your helpful replies. Your support means so much!