It never stops hurting

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LindaLoo

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It never stops hurting
« on: November 14, 2019, 03:59:35 PM »
We visited Mother over a week ago. Her birthday had been days before. I took her a card with money plus a bushel of Apples which she always asks for.

My birthday was two days before hers. Upon leaving she gave me a large box with things for my daughter. Lotions, soft footie socks, candies,.....and there were things for my grand children also. I delivered those things to my Daughter........

Not so much as a birthday card for me.   I will never wrap my mind around it!   
~Your heart knows things that your mind can't explain~

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FromTheSwamp

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2019, 10:29:14 PM »
My mom went out of her way this year to point out that she didn't feel like bothering with a birthday card for me.  Gosh, so much love. 

And you're exactly right - it never stops hurting.

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2019, 11:13:52 PM »
Wow, how rude and hurtful. I'm sorry for both of you.
 :hug:

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moglow

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2019, 02:50:07 AM »
Wow. That's just ... I don't even have an appropriate response for that one. I suggest you mail a card next year and call it a day. Actually I suggest you do that for the upcoming holidays as well - IF you even want to send a card.
“Nothing exposes our true self more than how we treat each other in the home.”  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Stop Stinkin' Thinkin'!

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blacksheep7

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2019, 11:55:03 AM »
So sorry,

Wow, that is so hurtful.  I like Moglow's suggestion, I would do that.
I may be the black sheep of the family, but some of the white sheep are not as white as they try to appear.

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looloo

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2019, 12:43:13 PM »
For me, it was actually liberating.  My Nmother has dementia, and she began to forget things like holidays and birthdays, it became more obvious.  She’d been showing overt favoritism to my H, whose birthday is about a month before mine.  On his birthday (maybe 6 years ago now), she sent him a card and a check.  When my birthday rolled around, for the first time I got no acknowledgment at all.  It was one of those things that could be chalked up to her cognitive decline - plausible deniability - but I don’t think so.
Anyway, I actually breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that I was closing a chapter of this whole ridiculous dynamic.  I could now move on a bit.
“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”  Oscar Wilde.

"My actions are my true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand."  Thich Nhat Hanh

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LindaLoo

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2019, 02:27:01 PM »
Thank you everyone! Great advice!!

I won't be sending a birthday card next year. I stopped Christmas cards to her years ago. I'm giving her no more money either. 

I'm sorry for each of you who have the same type mothers.  :(  My mother favors my H also. She bakes him special things he likes.

I truly wish my mother would send me an email and disown me. It would be the best day of my life!  I could fly free
~Your heart knows things that your mind can't explain~

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gettingstronger1

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Re: It never stops hurting
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2019, 12:13:23 AM »
LindaLoo,
I am sorry your mom didn’t send you a birthday card. That is very hurtful. On a weird note, my enabling father managed to send me a blank unsigned birthday card. I wasn’t sure what to make of that.  :stars:
« Last Edit: November 18, 2019, 12:15:25 AM by gettingstronger1 »