Hes been out of town

  • 5 Replies
  • 1080 Views
*

Fae Greenwood

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 53
Hes been out of town
« on: November 15, 2019, 02:42:34 AM »
Hes been working from home the past two years and finally FINALLY hes had to go on a business trip. One night, two whole days, Ive been able to breathe. Hell be home within an hour but its been wonderful! There is a chance that hell be moving onto a new job this coming spring that comes with having to be in an office. Yippee!
I have to remind myself constantly that I am responsible for my choices but not the choices of anyone else.

When we have a child, we give a hostage to fortune and to the other parent.

I may not respond as I have to sneak onto this site and more than a quick view is challenging.

*

sarandro

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 155
Re: Hes been out of town
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2019, 07:59:35 AM »
Hi Fae...Mine too!!!
Two days of calm, I have done soooo much, I feel confident and capable.
He's back this afternoon after visiting his Mum and friends 200 miles away, so maybe he has taken this time to 'reboot'?

I suggested this to him last week, take some time away from me and the perceived pressure he says I cause him!!!
He took it like I was asking for a divorce...
''If I go...I won't come back...Make your mind up, cos once I'm gone, I'm gone etc etc''

I meant it as a kind way of getting him out and about...visit friends, have a night out ....you know.
Give me some breathing space without all the aggro and negativity.
Realise how good he has it at home.

Anyway, he said his Mum had to go to hospital for a test (good timing) and he says...
''I'm going away for a few days to see Mum and friends''

''Great'', says I, ''So you're taking my advice ?''

He finally admitted that he was looking forward to getting away for a bit!
(His Mum is fine, by the way!)

Fae, I hope, for both our sakes, that our respective partners are able to get out from under us sooooooon!
Best wishesXXX

*

Fae Greenwood

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 53
Re: Hes been out of town
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2019, 02:20:44 PM »
Thanks Sarando. I hope you too eventually are able to stop burdening you poor spouse.;-)

My pleasant evening lasted for a whole ten minutes after he got home so that was better than I anticipated. He ended up sleeping on the couch in his home office because I wasnt responsive enough on his return triumphant.
I have to remind myself constantly that I am responsible for my choices but not the choices of anyone else.

When we have a child, we give a hostage to fortune and to the other parent.

I may not respond as I have to sneak onto this site and more than a quick view is challenging.

*

Pepin

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 1347
Re: Hes been out of town
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2019, 02:37:21 PM »
Fae, I was just going to write something about my DH traveling since he left today for a work trip.  He has travelled quite a bit this year and it has mostly been wonderful when he is gone.  Him being away (especially over the weekend) means that he does not attend to PDMil (she lives 20 minutes away) nor is there the threat of me having to see her or our teens -- though the teens and I have long ago stopped tagging along.  The tension in the house is considerably less when he is gone.

I think DH traveling keeps him grounded -- more focused on our family and his work.

But at the same time, looking back over the years, I am also sad that he has had to travel so much.  I am sorry that I am not married to a man that is home every night in our bed.  As a result, I truly spend more time away from him because of his traveling and his attending to PDMil -- than I should.  It is a lot of time to be away from my spouse.  But if he didn't travel, he would spend more time with PDMil.  This bugs me so much.

My DH is not a PD but he has a lot of issues as a GC/enabler, enmeshed son, etc.  These problems are not something he presented when we first met a couple of decades ago...they have slowly happened over time due to the nature of where we live in proximity to PDMil and her behavior, especially as she has aged.  It was such a mistake to move closer to her with the hope that she would be an involved grandmother and helpful in-law.  I am nothing more than competition to her and DH just cannot see that...and his fleas are painful to deal with.
Why work so hard to have a relationship with someone that does not care the same way as you?

No PD is going to tell me what to do.

Born into a dysfunctional family and married into a dysfunctional family.

People who don't bring joy, let them go.

*

Cascade

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 493
Re: Hes been out of town
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2019, 09:27:49 PM »
My husband has only been working home for one month and I can imagine the relief you feel! I hope he gets that office job, that would be so nice for you. My husband slept downstairs last night too and has been giving me the silent treatment ever since. And tomorrow is my birthday so it's going to be crappy if his mood doesn't shift.

*

Fae Greenwood

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 53
Re: Hes been out of town
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2019, 01:38:46 AM »
When I posted, I was relaxes and happy and optimistic. All it took was one night apart, two days of not having to keep alert for potential storms, to feel good about my life. I wish he was out of town again.
I have to remind myself constantly that I am responsible for my choices but not the choices of anyone else.

When we have a child, we give a hostage to fortune and to the other parent.

I may not respond as I have to sneak onto this site and more than a quick view is challenging.