Her tantrums are my fault

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Writingthepain

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Her tantrums are my fault
« on: November 21, 2019, 06:47:02 AM »
So my npd mom last week threw a tantrum in front of her neighbours which she thought would teach them a lesson and get sympathy. Instead of course it exposed her for the weirdo unhinged npd person she is. As the fall out continues she has relentlessly blamed everyone for making her behave that way, everyone but herself of course and especially me. In fact shes now convinced herself that it was entirely my fault because I didn't do anything to stop her.
As a result she has wrecked some of the few last remaining relationships we had in our lives.
I can afford to live separately from her and I think it's time to do so. I dare not make any new friends while she's around because she will trash them.
But it's very hard right now since I'm having to contradict her constant blame in my head.
I need support please.

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doglady

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Re: Her tantrums are my fault
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2019, 06:22:02 AM »
Classic NPD behaviour. They are ‘never wrong,’ ergo it must be someone else’s fault. I hope you are able to move out ASAP. You will be so much better once you get out of the cage. Trust your instincts on this. Good luck.

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Adrianna

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Re: Her tantrums are my fault
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2019, 03:39:53 PM »
Not your fault. Not your job to fix her either. Never was even though you were likely trained to think it was. We were groomed to feel responsible for them but we really truly aren’t. We are responsible for ourselves and they are responsible for themselves.

Let her stew in the consequences of her own actions.  She won’t like it but might think twice before doing it again. She’s learning she can’t manipulate everyone and it pisses her off. So be it. 
Practice an attitude of gratitude.