Wedding photos

[ladybirdgirl]

We have recently had our wedding photos back from the photographer and they are great, however there seems to be a lot of PDMIL and this is really getting to me. Maybe I'm just noticing ones of her and getting annoyed, I'm not sure. I just can't help the anger I'm feeling when I see the ones of her and DH. Am I being over sensitive?
I hate feeling like this.

[GettingOOTF]

I feel strongly that there is no such thing as "over sensitive". Your feelings are yours and they are valid.

I'd sit with them and dig into why you feel this way. It may be that you see them and subconsciously think how she will always be an influence in your life, or it drags up something from your childhood. It could be a million things, but you feel this way for a valid reason.

I have read on other forums and blogs about PD family members inserting themselves into a disproportionately high number of wedding photos, so again you are totally valid in your feelings.

I hope there are some photos that make you smile and remember the special times from that day.

[ladybirdgirl]

Hey GettingOOTF, thank you for
your reply.

There are loads of photos that I love and don't have her in, I just dislike that she is in so many of them. It is definitely the influence that she has in our lives that is causing these feelings.
I suppose I'm worried that when we have our wedding album done, she will be in it lots and I won't want to look at it. We had such an amazing day and I want to remember it in that way.

[WinterStar]

I suppose I'm worried that when we have our wedding album done, she will be in it lots and I won't want to look at it. We had such an amazing day and I want to remember it in that way.

ladybirdgirl,

What if you made yourself a wedding album? There are lots of websites that facilitate that, and it's a lot less expensive than it used to be. You could have your own album with zero pictures of PDMIL. Just an idea.

[Pepin]

I suppose I'm worried that when we have our wedding album done, she will be in it lots and I won't want to look at it. We had such an amazing day and I want to remember it in that way.

ladybirdgirl,

What if you made yourself a wedding album? There are lots of websites that facilitate that, and it's a lot less expensive than it used to be. You could have your own album with zero pictures of PDMIL. Just an idea.

Yes, I agree with this!  Make your own album that has pictures in it that are special to you!  Also, I've been married for almost 20 years and we don't look at our pictures anymore...we have two out of just DH and I and that's it...

[TiredOfTheBattle]

I have the same problem. I was so traumatised by the way my PDMIL took over and destroyed my wedding day that I couldn't even bring myself to look at the photos for a year (she then managed to also throw one of her dramas on our first wedding anniversary and destroyed that too...) Now just recently I have gone through the photos (not the video still) and she and her flying monkeys managed to get themselves into nearly every photo. Over 70% of the pictures. It's like she paid or manipulated the photographer into it.
I'm going to make my own little album of photos eventually so that I can try to form some nice wedding memories and not be traumatised afresh everytime I see the other ones. Until then I'll be going back to not looking.

[Leonor]

Ugh! Wedding in the FOG! Had one of those too. Get this: my HPD mom and grandmother stayed in the same hotel as dh and I did the night of the wedding ... in the Bridal Suite! (They rented us a guest suite a few floors below, as a wedding gift.) Really! How weird is that!?! 

So all my wedding stuff is in the basement too.

But what about a Marriage Album? Pictures, momentos, short notes to celebrate your relationship and the new family of hope and love that the two of you have created. Each anniversary, you can add to it. What a treasure to have over the years.

Congratulations on your marriage!

[JayBird]

Hi ladybirdgirl-

Ugg..wedding photos for me is a stab of bad memories. DH and I planned (and payed for) our own wedding. All of which I considered to be quite nice and not over the top. We elected to not hire a professional photographer and accepted that DH's aunt would take photos, as she was willing to and seemed pleased to do so. Unbeknownst to me at the time - my mil turned out be very very N. Mil insisted that we give her "spazzy" sister a job to do or she would drive every one nuts. Which in retrospect, this was just Nmil demonstrating her need to control others.

So DH"s aunt took photos, had them expressed developed and the next day, at a large post-wedding family brunch, all the wedding photos were past around amongst  DH's family, prior to me and DH seeing anything, and they all TOOK the ones they liked. Silly me, I thought these were a gift for me and DH. NOPE.

One of those weird PD 'gifts' that make you feel bad.