Mealtimes?

[WhiteWolf]

It's almost 8:30pm and we haven't eaten dinner. If he cooks it's consistently the latest mealtimes. Is this a thing?

[Poison Ivy]

There is the thing of a person doing tasks purposefully poorly so other people decide they'd rather do the task themselves.

[SeaBreeze]

 

Also, IME with similar behavior, it can be to control. Everyone else eats when PD decides it's time to eat. (I have issues with low blood sugar and recently realized this has been an abusive tactic used against me a few times.)

And/or PD is not hungry yet, so honestly doesn't have the empathy to understand that maybe others in the house need to eat at present time? If it does not benefit PD, it can just fly right over their head.

*ETA (However if I'm cooking that night, I'll get asked as early as 3pm if I'm starting supper anytime soon coz uNPDh is starving...)

[11JB68]

I have someexamples of this too

[1footouttadefog]

I am on the other side of this. I am the one who fixes dinner late.  In the summer, I often mow and do yard work until dark. ( Average) I will then fix supper late. 

I expect the adult and teens to have a snack at about three o'clock. 

When they got older they started to fix meals or help with part of it.  I feel like I am entitled to set a schedule that works for me during the summer because I do the house and yard work, car maintenance, upkeep two rental properties, home school kids, cook, garden etc.  Pdh asks what's for lunch what's for dinner when he brings me cold water occasionally.

Now I fix all of his meals ahead and freeze them so he can eat what he wants and not question what and when is dinner. 

If your wife is not doing her share of the work and it also not cooking on time, perhaps it's passive aggression.  I would take it into your own hands.   Buy sandwich meat or such and fix your self something quietly then inform her you have eaten.  Refuse to eat what she jumps up to make after this.  It will let her know she cannot control you this way.

[11JB68]

UOCPDH often works late (Not as much now as he used to), causing dinner time to be late. I always cook dinner, one of my many jobs.
One summer I was laid up and he had to cook. If dinner was delayed for any reason he'd get cranky and complain that he didn't like cooking late at night!

[1footouttadefog]

Was thinking on this topic as I cooked earlier than usual tonight.  I remembered that this past couple of years that I have been constantly adjusting my sleep time to adjust to my pdh changing his as he goes from manic to sluggish and widely varies his patterns.  The meal times will of course  become and issue and as soon as I think I have it figured out, he will either start or stop eating a midnight meal or two. 

Moving targets get old.

It's about control and or sabatage.