Do you split school costs?

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Associate of Daniel

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Do you split school costs?
« on: November 25, 2019, 06:37:08 AM »
For the last 4 years I have paid all of the school costs as uNPD exH stopped paying his half. He has continued to pay child support though.

Ds12 was at a private school.

From next year he'll be attending a public school.  Considerably ($1000s) cheaper.

Do you split the costs between you and your ex?

How do you streamline things to have as little contact with your ex as possible regarding school costs?

AOD

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mamato3

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Re: Do you split school costs?
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2019, 01:12:06 PM »
For the last 4 years I have paid all of the school costs as uNPD exH stopped paying his half. He has continued to pay child support though.

Ds12 was at a private school.

From next year he'll be attending a public school.  Considerably ($1000s) cheaper.

Do you split the costs between you and your ex?

How do you streamline things to have as little contact with your ex as possible regarding school costs?

AOD

When DS lived with you, you paid for school. Seems like if DS is living with his father, he would pay for school. Will you be expected to pay child support? If so, no need at all to pay for school IMO, based on the arrangement you currently have.

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athene1399

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Re: Do you split school costs?
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2019, 10:13:57 AM »
We split it like once and then BM realized she wasn't required to split it so we started paying for it all. Advance courses and field trips are considered extras and there was no requirement to split the extras. And if you've been paying it in the past without him splitting anything, I agree with Mamato.  This is the school PDex wanted and DS is going to live him him to go here, so then it becomes his responsibility. If there's nothing in your order saying school costs need to be split, then they don't need to be split. Or you could even say you are waiting for cost to even out before you contribute since you've paid $xx at the last school after PDex stopped splitting the bill with you.

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: Do you split school costs?
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2019, 08:45:00 AM »
Thanks.

I will have to pay a small amount of child support to uNPD exH.  A little over $100/mth. (He earns about $60,000 more than I do.)

The Child Support Agency says I don't have to pay for school unless there is an agreement that I would.  There is currently no agreement.

Although the court orders do use fhe phrase "equal and shared responsibility" I think.  I'll havs to check that out.

So, if I was dealing with a normal, reasonable, rational, fair minded person, who had been paying his agreed half , what would you recommend?  Should I pay half in that hypothetical situation?

AOD

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HotCocoa

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Re: Do you split school costs?
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2019, 09:36:37 AM »
No.
The smarter you become about narcissistic abuse, the crazier the narcissist will say you are.

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athene1399

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Re: Do you split school costs?
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2019, 12:01:57 PM »
If my ex paid me half for the school when he didn't have to, and then we switched schools and he had majority custody I would pay him half of the school costs. Unless he wasn't paying child support before and I had to pay now. I personally feel if he was fair to me, I would be fair to him (if our wages were similar). If he made 60k more than me, and I wasn't obligated to pay for half the schooling and he was a reasonable person, I would just let him know i would chip in when I could.

That being said, I don't have a child with an ex (aside from my daughter who I gave up for adoption) so this is super hypothetical as I've never had to deal with it. BM and SO make similar wages and she doesn't chip in for the school "extras". But she also does not have a partner like SO does. So I mean, that is a factor too. SO and I can and do split SD's schooling costs. I don't have to, but I want to.

If I were in your situation, I would not continue to pay half the schooling unless ordered to. But that's me.

Just give it some thought, visualize some scenarios, and do what you want to do. You will make the right decision no matter what you choose to do. :)