Is it worth trying to correct npd behaviour?

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Writingthepain

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Is it worth trying to correct npd behaviour?
« on: November 25, 2019, 07:31:43 AM »
Are they likely to accept any adjustments or criticism? Would they want to improve themselves?
My npd certainly can't stand any kind of correction at all.

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Adrianna

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Re: Is it worth trying to correct npd behaviour?
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2019, 07:51:31 AM »
Absolute 100% waste of time. They do not self reflect and have no interest in changing their behaviors. If shown a wrong doing, they will blame, deflect, rage or use guilt or silent treatments so youíll think twice before confronting them again on their behavior.

A person with true npd lacks empathy. Trying to reason with them is like talking to a wall. Their brains are wired differently from ours.

You will save yourself a world of heartache and frustration once you realize npd is not curable. They donít get better. Ever. And they really donít care about other people because they lack empathy. Youíd want to change your behaviors if you were hurting people because you have empathy and know how they must feel. The npd person canít do that.
Practice an attitude of gratitude.

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GettingOOTF

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Re: Is it worth trying to correct npd behaviour?
« Reply #2 on: November 25, 2019, 08:52:36 AM »
The few times I told my father what behaviors upset me he laughed and then amped up those exact behaviors.

It was similar with my BPDxH. My experience was that anything I tried to ďcorrectĒ was used against me. The only thing you can do is put boundaries in place. For my father it was very Grey Rock like responses and I ended the call when he said something mean. This simply challenged him to get his mean comments in quicker. I divorced my ex and Iím NC with my father. Itís changed my life immeasurably for the better.

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: Is it worth trying to correct npd behaviour?
« Reply #3 on: November 25, 2019, 11:36:20 AM »
Not worth it in my opinion. Any criticism given to my uPDmom or even slight disagreement is met with shock, tears, and disbelief. It's like watching a transformation into the Incredible Hulk. Scary and not worth it to me.

I've changed my mindset with her, she can think whatever she wants and I go about my life. She hates when people don't agree with her because She Is Always Right. Now I say "Oh yeah, I see why you would think that way" and go about my business. Because I do see how she would think that way. She is disordered and thinks it's all about her.