Coworker

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Ladymm

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Coworker
« on: November 28, 2019, 05:02:58 AM »
Hello,

I think my coworker is a total narcissist. My father is the owner and director of this company and most of all an enormous enabler and perfect fit for pd environments. At home his narc of choice is my mother and my sister the golden child. At work this coworker is the one who imo takes both of this roles.

Im of course the scapegoat always and forever.

This woman has been working here for like 10 yrs. I came to work here like 3 years ago, because of a financial situation which still hasnt resolved itself (husband unemployed). I dont do rocket science, and so doesn't my coworker. Its a stupid office job.

My father said (I dont know for what reason tho) that said coworker seemed scared, when I had to come to work,because I was his daughter and that he said that she shouldn't care because even when I will work she will still be my boss. But she wanted to put solidify further his spot in the office and when I started to work she stole a portion from the work I should be doing and the woman doing my work before me did. Once I asked her (nicely) if do also the portion of work she stole and she just said some sarcastic shit.

I dont know even if I should confront her or something after this because I feel like just I will create childish drama.

But from time to time she just takes a document I work with and she does the work. Out of nothing. This happened yesterday. And I fucking soiraled. After I saw what she did I couldnt work anymore. Had a huge fight with my husband. Layed in bed all afternoon. Slept badly.

I felt totally powerless.

I felt like I froze and then tried to fled. I was crazy. I was like a wounded animal. Like a sufferer of shell shock when they hear a loud noise.

I cant control her. But why I get so triggered? It is debilitating. Why she has this power over me?
I can't decide if you wear me out or wear me well
I just feel like I'm condemned to wear someone else's hell

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Penny Lane

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Re: Coworker
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2019, 11:12:37 PM »
I'm so sorry, this is so many layers of hard.

 :bighug:

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Ladymm

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Re: Coworker
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2019, 03:26:45 AM »
Penny lane,

Thank you for your words!
I can't decide if you wear me out or wear me well
I just feel like I'm condemned to wear someone else's hell

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Crushed_Dad

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Re: Coworker
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2019, 08:22:45 AM »
Put track changes on all the documents and password protect. If she asks why just say it's to prevent you from reducing my workload and taking credit for work I'm doing. If you have a problem with that go and speak to my old man (dad), I'm sure he'll be able to clarify the position. Then sit back and smile.

 

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Ladymm

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Re: Coworker
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2019, 06:21:16 AM »
Crushed_dad,

thank you for you feedback.

Unfortunately, she has those docs on her PC. Before, when there was another lady working in my place, she gave thise docs to said lady. When I started to work, she stopped giving me the docs. When I tried to ask her why she said something cynical.

She is a sad human being. She does thus to me and then she is nice to me, even too nice sometimes.

Some people advice me to confront her again but I don't want to beg her to give me the inboices she "stole" to work on them I see no point in this.

In the last week and so I started to meditate more on the theme of feeling stuck and being provoked. I see ot is good to emotional distance myself and start to believe I am not as bound to this job as I fear I am.

I have an interview next week for a new job. I already told the employment agency that due to my situation I cant work for minimal wage or even under a certain amount of money me and husband need to survive, since he is unemployed currently. We ll see what comes out of this. Jupiter moved in a new sign, the new year is at the door and I feel I can hope for a new chance I so need and deserve.
I can't decide if you wear me out or wear me well
I just feel like I'm condemned to wear someone else's hell

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Ladymm

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Re: Coworker - with update
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2019, 05:13:02 AM »
Update:

Since confronting somebody or not is a quite important theme, I will tell you what I decided to do and did yesterday.

This problem I had with my coworker is a theme I have been carfying around from 2017. Maybe after writing thus post something changed in me, and I noticed I was full of rage for two days. Also I wasn't the best at handling it so I was argumentative with my husband etc. I was like a wounded animal. Rage is not something I feel often but this week I felt it often. Some say this is good for people who are codependent.

Yesterday at work this rage filled me. I felt like it cancelled my fear of being screamed at or being put down and fear of an animate conflict with my coworker. So I decided and kindly went to tell what was bothering me. She was nice and said she didn't do it by purpose but she took these docs to do because she wanted to do some work also, because often we both . She said if I have a problem in future I should tell her.

I felt relieved after this, but I felt like distrust was still there. But at least I had my say. For example, with my father also I said things but it quickly escalated to a dead end.

So my view..I don't know. Maybe one should try to say whats on their heart but just for the sake of it. I feel a bit less rage and that I kind of resolved a problem or unblocked something. I still don't like 100 percent that she took the docs, I feel distrust. But At least I got it out of my chest.
I can't decide if you wear me out or wear me well
I just feel like I'm condemned to wear someone else's hell