"Excuse my anger. I am grieving."

[Samuel S.]

I have had a cold the past couple of days, and I rarely get sick. So, my PDw did prepare some food and teas and did acupuncture on me. All that was very good and very kind of her to do.

If you hear a "but", you guessed it! But, at the same time, she said that she does so much for me already. Now, she has to do the things that she did not want to do. She has so many other things to do, like her studies and her work. So, she didn't need me to get sick.

Then, this morning, we had a plumbing issue which was very minor, but there was some water in the kitchen. So, she got that much more irritable at me, because she was mad that the plumbing issue was out of her control. So, she left. I called the plumber, and the plumber came out and took care of the problem.

Later today, she sent a text saying that she just put flowers onto her deceased daughter's grave. My PDw said that she must have done something so terribly wrong in a past life, and that is why she is suffering in this life. I responded by saying that I am sorry that she felt that way. I also said that she is doing something valuable for herself in this life. She responded with a thank you.

So, bottom line, I understand grief is hard around the holidays, and no matter what time of the year, I am very compassionate by listening to her. Nevertheless, this is an opportunity to express her anger which is totally unfair to me, even if I have a cold which I am almost over with.

[Samuel S.]

Well, we had an argument tonight after she returned from the cemetery and doing some errands. She was mad that I didn't say "I love you" after 3 of her text messages to me. It's the first time I didn't do so in a long time. I didn't say that, because she treated me very badly, accusing me of this and that. So, it's kind of hard to say it back to her. When she said that because she was emotionally upset, I said "I love you" just to calm her down, but that didn't work out too well.

I shouldn't have, but I told her about not being honest with me about the $100 per month for the last year that we both agreed would be for any extra expenses. Then, several years ago, when money was tight, she said she would work more. Then, about a year or so ago, she said it would be for my funeral. I didn't say anything then, because I was in shock literally. It was only tonight that I felt that she deceived me by independently making up her own mind without telling me that the money that I put in would be for either a new car or my funeral. BTW, I don't even know where the money is! I asked her how she would feel if I were to take her money out of her paycheck to do the same to her. Of course, she didn't have an answer for that!

After about an hour's worth of arguing, she broke down crying. I really thought she was going to harm herself due to her grief. It was really pretty bad! Nevertheless, she calmed down afterward.

Now, she is taking a shower and is calmer.