Mom has DPD, with BP traits

[Sarah See]

Hello, I've just found this site after reading everything I can find on the internet about mothers with PDs. I began therapy a few months ago and found out that my mother has uDPD. At first I thought it was BP because I can really relate to adult children of BP parents, and  the two disorders overlap.
I am seeing my family through different eyes now, and it is hard to look at them. Right now I feel like I never want to see them again. My mother, her husband, and my brother all treat me like I'm the parent. I have been parentified and emotionally abused my whole life. I realized how bad it is at the last get together when I did not participate in the disfunction but observed it. Now I am just sad about it and mourning the loss of parents or a childhood.

[practical]

Welcome to Out of the FOG!

When you step outside the dysfunction, outside the role you were assigned, it can be beyond sobering. It is very painful to see how you were used and abused and am continued to assuming you let it happen. This is a safe and supportive place to explore what you have been through and how to go forward. Make sure to check out the Toolbox. As you mention having been parentified, a book that really helped me with this is "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay Gibson.

I hope to see you on the boards.

[Sarah See]

Thank you very much!

[Frozen34]

I'm so sorry you experience such abuse from your family. I can only imagine the pain you feel from that. After my mom died I soon experienced my dad as abusive, demanding, etc. and uDPD. His family is also toxic, I just never was able to put my finger on it until I was around them more. I hope you find peace from such rough experiences <3