Not Your PD Momma's Doom and Gloom Report

[WomanInterrupted]

After 3 rounds of "high octane" induction chemo (meant to make a large mass shrink), I had my follow-up PET scan and have NO cancer in the right side of my neck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!     

The original mass - the left side of the base of my tongue - is still there, but smaller and not as apt to want to spread.  A normal, healthy number is 3.  The thing on my tongue is currently at a 7, down from 21, so *whew!*   

On Monday, I see my oncologist and we discuss what's next - which is probably 5-7 weeks of radiation 5X a week, plus 1 day of chemo per week, and with luck, that's IT, I will be *dunzo*  AND have presentable hair that doesn't stick up at all kind of weird angles  hopefully by Spring!   

Okay - how does this relate to Elderly PDs?

Isn't it kind of obvious from the title?   

This is everything *they don't do!*   

I gave the information up front, in a clear manner, and I'm not being so vague that I might as well be speaking in code.  I'm not milking the DRAMA - there's been remarkably little of that, thankfully.  I had ONE day where I thought nothing was working and let it all get to me - and the next day my tumor shrank by half, to prove me wrong. 

Everything has been remarkably low key - which is just the way I like to do illness or injury - and mostly positive.  My biggest gripe is, "Hurry up - we can squeeze you in now, if you can get here in the next 15 minutes!" - busting my butt to get there and *waiting two fucking hours.*   

But  it is a county hospital - I'm always home by 5 - and I discovered the Mother of All Shortcuts, so the 15-minute drive is actually 10.   

The high doses of chemo weren't as bad as  I was told they could be - I didn't throw up or even feel mildly nauseated.  Mostly, I had indigestion for a week, and lived on store versions of Tums and Pepcid.   

I'm anticipating I won't have problems with radiation - they'll only be zapping one area - not 2 or 3, which is what they thought before the induction chemo.   It'll be like having a sunburn, from the inside-out, but I'm the woman who was eating potato chips the day after having my tonsils out, so I'm not  all that worried.   

I'm really looking forward to seeing Dr. D (the oncologist) and setting up a  schedule to just get it done, finish getting healthy, and then getting on with the rest of my life.   

If anybody knows where I can donate unused chemo  caps, please post.    I discovered I look like a total dork in most of them, and think they'd be better off  with others who need them.   

Yeah - I bought a bunch, got a look at myself in them and NO.  Just no!   

I'm lucky  - and I damned well know it! 

And I love you all - you are my Tribe and I'd be lost without you!   

This tough little hen is going to be around for a long time to come  - and I'll have another update when this is over, done with, and firmly in the land of, "Well, that happened..."   

[Adrianna]

Great news!!!!!! You are a serious inspiration on this forum WO. I knew you'd kick this! I wasn't even concerned because I just knew you'd conquer it with humor and grace.

And yes, it is amazing how the pd mom would make this a huge drama festival/pity party! Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me uncomfortable. And you know if Didi was here and you told her she would have made it all about her!  It's what they all do. They fear their attention source abandoning them. I think this is especially apparent in those with BPD.

Keep posting updates!

[Rose1]

Fantastic news!

[Amadahy]

This is just fantastic, WI!!! I'm so thankful for your healing  and for the gift of no drama in your journey. Continued good wishes and much love!

💕Amadahy

[illogical]

So glad you are healing!  This calls for a celebration!         

[SunnyMeadow]

  Wonderful news WI !!!! 

Thank you for posting about your experience. You give me hope by sharing and mentioning that chemo isn't as bad as you thought. As Adrianna wrote - thank goodness Didi isn't around to make this about her!

Looking forward to reading all of your updates. 

[looloo]

Awesome blossom!!!   

"I gave the information up front, in a clear manner, and I'm not being so vague that I might as well be speaking in code."

Your comment flashed me back to when my En-covertN-father told me his diagnosis.  Confusing, vague behavior (more than usual) for several months prior.  I knew something was going on, but wasn't being told anything, and concluded that they were trying to cut me out of their lives by being so distant and deliberately non-communicative.  Eventually parents told me, explaining that they didn't want me to worry    I think my Nmother enjoyed how obviously confused and worried I was.  .  Typical.

Anyway, keep on feeling good and getting better!!!

[D.Dan]

 

[No.]

I'm no thrilled for you, woman interrupted!! 

[stasia]

I'm so happy to hear that you're responding well to treatment!

[practical]

Wonderful news! Keep your chin up and hopefully by spring the only chemical cocktails you'l be imbibing are those with the little umbrellas, while enjoying gentle, caressing radiation from the sun. 

[lkdrymom]

That is great news.

[Fiasco]

Hooray WI!! I'm beyond thrilled to see your great news. Regarding your dorky caps I bet your oncologist or hospital can direct you where to donate them. Keep up the good fight, we're all rooting for you!

[DreamingofQuiet]

This is the best news I've heard in a good long while. I'm so glad that the treatment is working AND that it hasn't been too rough. And what Practical said - may your future involve umbrella drinks under a gentle sun! 

[appaloosa]

Hurray for you!! So happy to hear the good news! xo

[all4peace]

So sorry you have to face this at all and so thankful that you're kicking its backside!

[WomanInterrupted]

Thank you all so very much! 

Drinks with umbrellas, under a gentle sun sound *lovely.* 

It's so funny - when I was first diagnosed, one of the first things I said to DH was, "Thank God Didi's dead so I don't have to worry about her trying to make this all about her."

If she were alive and if, for some reason, I  hadn't gone NC, I'd be hiding it all from her, just so I didn't have to deal with two weeks of Silent Treat, followed by her calling me a liar, only to have her slam the phone down when told I was still in treatment, followed by 2 more weeks of Silent Treat, rinse, lather, repeat. 

That would go on every 2 weeks until I told her my treatment was over, and then she'd expect some kind of *reward* or present, because I'd been so neglectful! 

Ah, those days are over, thankfully - can you believe it's been nearly six years?

And Ray will be in the nursing home 4 years, come the start of April!

DH's  jaw nearly hit the floor when I told him that - I can't even imagine the hell we'd be  going through with Ray still over at his house, and trying to have treatment. 

I can just about hear him telling me to cut the shit and do my JOB, then going on to yell about my goddamned "women's lib" hair style. 

Instead of worrying about any of that nonsense, I can focus on getting well, without the constant pointless distractions and shouts of, "Look at MEEEEEEEE!"

I'm glad I chose the team I chose - I went to 2 cancer specialists.  One is world-famous and left a really bad taste in my mouth.  The other is much closer to home, much smaller and has much more of a personal touch.  They're affiliated with our county hospital which is surprisingly awesome - and I have not encountered a single PD!   

That wasn't the case with the famous place - they acted like I was boring them, which really isn't the best way to deal with people who are scared and desperate for information - or to start treatment.   

I've gotten though this just like I've gotten through any other thing:  by keeping my eyes on the prize and putting one foot in front of the other. 

I dehoarded the house after Didi died and had the same 'tude, but it was much funnier because of all the insane crap I kept finding.  I was the same way when I had a never-ending list of things to do when Ray was declared incompetent.  And now it's time to focus on me, knowing that if I just stay the course, one day I'll be shot out of the wormhole back into my regular life - cured, smoke-free and *appreciative* of this second chance I've been given, with NO PD interference!   

And again, totally unlike the PDs in our lives!    

[sarandro]

Hi WI...
So very glad for some good news for you and I hope you keep on keeping on XXX

[Outsiderchild]

I am so pleased to hear your news!   I am also impressed with how you took charge of your care and changed your medical team.  You didn't let the first team with it's almost PD-like system of treating you trigger you.   Nor did you let it control you.  You really are walking the "No PD's allowed" walk!

I wish you health and peace.

[Spring Butterfly]

Glad for you and your good report!