How do you "Let go and Let God"?

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Blackbird11

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How do you "Let go and Let God"?
« on: December 17, 2019, 12:43:15 AM »
My background: I was raised Catholic, was pretty religious for a bit, then decided not to be Catholic. I was almost an atheist until I had a weird experience in my 20s that sort of pushed me more into the spiritual direction. Long story on that one.

I'm currently reading the One Day at a Time book from Al Anon. I got this book years ago when I tried Al Anon but I didnt really understand Al Anon and it didn't do much for me then.

I wound up shoving the book in the back of a drawer. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, I find this book, start reading and NOW I get it. In fact, it not only helps me with the alcoholic in my life, but how I approach my uPDh. If you replace "alcoholic" with "PD," it aligns pretty well.

Im still trying to wrap my brain around a few concepts - particularly Let Go and Let God. Anyone have some thoughts/insight into that? How to do that? I almost feel like once I grasp this, a lot of things will shift for me and enable me to do what I need to do (leave PDh).

Thanks for any thoughts

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Free2Bme

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Re: How do you "Let go and Let God"?
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2019, 09:30:41 PM »
Blackbird11-

"it not only helps me with the alcoholic in my life, but how I approach my uPDh. If you replace "alcoholic" with "PD," it aligns pretty well. "
This is insightful, a great application of the ALANON principles. 

To me, "let go/let God" means to acknowledge that there are things outside of me that I do not have control over, and to trust that ultimately God has everything under his control and is working for my good and His purposes.  Sometimes this is a moment by moment struggle. 

My children and I were in an abusive situation, I had to come to terms with it and stop my wishful thinking.  It was a process, like grieving the death of a loved one, or death of a dream.  I personally felt the weight of the world was upon me and was so afraid to make a bad decision.  So, I had to unplug emotionally and look at facts.   My updxh was very destructive and it was having detrimental effects upon 4 innocent people (my children).  I prayed for a miracle and planned for the worst.  We did T for years, he refused to address his rage/control issues, he told T that the problem was me and our 4 children. When I realized that he was consciously aware that he was causing pain and confusion to us, deriving some level of pleasure/satisfaction from it, this was a game changer for me. 

In my opinion, my H ended our marriage covenant when he abused his position/role as husband and father, and refused to acknowledge it.  I was just doing damage control by leaving. 
Your situation may be similar or different.  I don't think anyone could have told me when to leave.  I had to come to a place where i felt I had turned over every stone, so I could be at peace with myself and look my children in the face. 

I believe that in God's economy we are responsible for ourselves: thought, word and deed.  My updxh will have to answer for himself, as will I.

Sending peace as you navigate this decision  :)



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Blackbird11

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Re: How do you "Let go and Let God"?
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2019, 04:20:48 PM »
Thank you Free2Beme. That helps me understand the concept a lot more.

I think our situations are similar. Now I'm at the stage where I'm having more better hours/days than bad ones. I don't want to jinx it but I didn't think the bad days (emotionally speaking) would ever end. Now I'm able to come up for air a bit more each day.

And with that I've been sort of doing exactly what you say - examining the facts and taking actions on them vs. sitting in my emotions and feeling stuck.

The emotions still pop up, but the reality is I am married to someone who is abusive. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, right or wrong. The person that I was building a life with has made me feel unsafe both emotionally and physically on a number of occasions, and appeared to little remorse about it - and as you say - possibly enjoyed it.  On paper, that means it's best to go. Ensure peace and safety for myself and my child first. Then deal with the rest.

I will keep reminding myself to Let go and let god.