The Terminator

[Psuedonym]

Hi everybody!

So it's just over a year since I went NC with Negatron (uBPD/N m). If you've read my other posts, you know that my very brave bf has dealt with her since then. We've continued to do some things like get groceries (which she doesn't really need because she's in AL) but that's about it. He only gives me updates when I ask. Anyway he talked to her today and she starts going on (for probably the 50th time!) about what a great mother she was and how someone who was a psychologist told her when I was a child what a great mother she was. (She has magically erased the reality that 2 years ago her therapist told her in my presence that she was acting like a three year old throwing a tantrum on the floor and that she was behaving like her own mother (who was obviously also NPD and Negatron despised) and that she needed to act like a grownup, that she screamed at me that I was a little bitch when I told her she couldn't stay at my house after carting her around for a week on vacation, that she told my cousins I was a bitch, that she threw a weeks long tantrum at an AL facility last year because she didn't like how someone talked to her, or that she was so nasty to my bf in October that after warning her repeatedly he hung up on her, only to have her call him back to leave a VM calling him a coward, etc. etc. etc)

And my bf, who is the awesomest, said 'you can believe whatever you want, but if the only thing you have to say is how great you are I can guarantee you will never ever talk to Pseudonym again. She then tried to convince him that I was a liar, to which he called bullshit. She then insisted that I call her, to which he said not going to happen. She then said well maybe she'd just get a taxi and come over the house, to which he said that would be a really bad idea because he would stand in the doorway, refuse to let her in, and she'd just have to taxi right back. She then asked for his mothers number (again) to which he laughed and said 'we both know you're just going to call her to bad mouth Pseudonym, so no...again.

Then an hour or two ago I get a phone call from the AL saying that they just wanted to let me know that she had had something like a panic attack outside her apartment door but everything was fine and 'they' just wanted to let me know that. 

I find it helpful when bf tells me about these conversations because occasionally I get it in my head that maybe she wants to get in touch with me because she wants to apologize and is willing to change.....hahahahahhahaa. No. I know that the term 'personality disorder' pretty much sums it up and that borderline got its name because it's borderline psychotic thinking, but it really is spooky in a Terminator like way. Like how does one, after a year of your only child and only relative in the country saying they will have nothing to do with you unless you change do you just keep repeating the same insane bullshit over and over? At what point does one say 'you know what? I think she really doesn't want to talk to me?' and let it go? On the bright side it instantly clears up any lingering doubts I might have had about remaining NC. 

Hang in there everybody! Just a few more days to go and we'll have gotten through Christmas!

[TwentyTwenty]

Thanks for sharing! Very inspiring!!

Such a great feeling that they can no longer define us by their demented world view ever again!!! 

[p123]

Psue - just saying. Awesome bf you've got there.....

[SunnyMeadow]

Hang in there everybody! Just a few more days to go and we'll have gotten through Christmas!

I can't wait! I feel this way during the big build up to Mother's Day too, let's get this over and done with. The Terminator reference is a good one! No matter what, they keep getting up and keep coming at you to cause pain.

Oh, and thanks so much Assisted Living employees for the call that she's fine after a panic attack - ugh! 

[RavenLady]

Pseudonym - Just wanted to give you a shout-out and say it's great to hear you have held the line regarding Negatron. I think we started showing up here around the same time with similar situations, and it makes me really happy to know you're still on the path to freedom from your PDM. Congratulations!

[Psuedonym]

RavenLady! It's good to hear from you! Thanks so much, I hope you are well and having a great holiday!

SunnyMeadow, we made it through another holiday. Yeah, us!

p123, my bf is the bestest. He is my hero and the only person I've ever known to stand up to Negatron. We're actually getting married in a few days!

TwentyTwenty, true story! I think the further we distance ourselves the more we can see how truly crazy their world  view really is.

[FogDawg]

Psue - just saying. Awesome bf you've got there.....

I concur. He is most definitely a keeper. We should all be so fortunate to have such a person in our lives.