done with large PD family gatherings

[Pepin]

I recently attended a holiday gathering ripe with PD in-law family members and it was literally the final straw for me.  I realized that I wouldn't miss one single person at the table if I never saw them again.  And I was disgusted but the way everyone more or less kept to their own family unit.  In fact, the long table was divided up that way.  Of course our family had to sit next to PDMil and her sidekick sister!  It is the same thing again and again...the others don't want to sit with these two elderly ladies and sit as far away as possible.  I don't blame them one bit...but really?  Every gathering we have to sit with them?

We dined with one of DH's siblings and their family and a cousin of his and their family.  Their behavior was largely avoidant the entire time.  Not one of them said hi.  Our kids were ignored throughout the entire meal and one was close to tears.  My kids were off their phones until near the end when they gave up being ignored by their PD cousins and just interacted with each other.

It was a disgusting evening at best.  I was the only one that wished everyone a Happy New Year at departure...

I spoke to DH yesterday about it since we have a potential family gathering coming up in a month.  I told him that I don't want to do gatherings like that anymore and that I would prefer to have PDMil over at our place for a meal by herself.  I KNOW!!!  Yes, I can handle her alone now.  I cannot handle the other family members and they are absolutely NOT welcome in our home --thankfully DH agrees.  DH replied by saying that PDMil also doesn't want to do these gatherings anymore and neither does her sister...they get no supply when we gather like this since the younger ones command all the attention.  The aging PDs just can't keep up.

Fast forward to the summer...another potential large family gathering for PDMil as it will be a milestone birthday.  Same deal.  I can meet in very small groups.  No more big outings ripe with PDs. 

What a relief to move past these CRAZY meet ups.

[bloomie]

Pepin - one of the best gifts I have given myself is to opt out of extended family gatherings on the in law side of the family. There are occasions such as weddings and funerals and milestone bdays that I arrive on the dot and leave asap figuratively wearing beige and a cool, calm, cocktail party demeanor.

Like you, I continue to extend kindness and hospitality to my uPDmil and that is hard enough all on its own.

Bravo to you!

[Brooke]

I completely understand.

My sister and I have already agreed that we are absolutely not doing the big family thing for Xmas next year as this year was a disaster. We need a substitute for all that traveling together followed by several days of togetherness!