I don't even know how to feel anymore...

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I don't even know how to feel anymore...
« on: January 05, 2020, 02:34:44 PM »
I get so frustrated and angry with her.  We all know the "joys" of living with a narcissist.  The weekly, daily, even sometimes hourly shifts in their personal reality, and the changed expectations they have of you as a result, the "mind-reading," "fortune telling," and minefield conversations.  The pushing of your buttons, and the DARVO response that follows.  It just makes me want to pack it all in, and go do the "Jeremiah Johnson" thing in the Canadian wilderness....

But then I remember that it's a mental disorder, and that this disorder prevents her from seeking treatment.  Like a schizophrenic that refuses to take their meds.  On some days, I even feel sorry for her, that she is so messed up, and feels so horrible about herself, and can't break through the barriers that keep her that way.

And then she turns the simple, joyful act of decorating for Christmas into a major pissing contest. And the cycle begins again...



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Re: I don't even know how to feel anymore...
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2020, 06:38:42 PM »
Yes. It's never boring. One never knows what to expect.



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Re: I don't even know how to feel anymore...
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2020, 11:37:15 AM »
the relief to be away from all that is undeniably amazing. There are a lot of other issues (missing my kids terribly being most pressing) but not watching what I say, excusing myself for what I do, even just taking care of my belongings. Who I see, when I see them, not having to provide a justification, all of it feels great.

If you do not have children you owe the PD in your life nothing.