The baby bomb dropped

  • 7 Replies
  • 633 Views
*

Call Me Cordelia

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 751
The baby bomb dropped
« on: January 05, 2020, 06:04:07 PM »
MIL saw a photo a friend posted to social media. Oops. Made a passive aggressive comment about it. And some FM relatives too. :roll: DH hadnít told his FOO that we had another baby yet, or even that I was pregnant.

Cue the drama trombones, right? Whomp whomp whomp waaaaaa.  :roll:

I declined to suggest to DH how he should handle the fallout, on the grounds he wouldnít like my suggestions. Iím inclined to say, ďAnd what have we learned from this experience?Ē as if Iím talking to a child. But really. Your relationship with your son is such that you find out through Facebook stalking him that you have another grandchild, and your response is to try to press the guilt buttons with the exact sort of behavior that was called out in the first place as a major part of the issue.  :doh: :doh: :doh:

So how do people expect reconciliation here and how is this my responsibility  again? :stars: NOW can we all get off the FOG train?  :sadno:

*

Nomoreblind

  • New Member
  • *
  • 25
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2020, 05:03:13 AM »
Congratulations for the new little baby. 

I am sure like many of us, we would have preferred a new little one to be a happy, joyful moment, including nice and "helpful" in-laws, not the kind coming to visit baby expecting to be served teas and coffees and cakes, with their little fingers pointing up while holding their tea cups, while the new sleep deprived mum, and probably still in after labour body aches and pains, stresses to tidy up the house to receive/serve these guests who will give unsolicited advice.

I hope you manage to stay safe in your little bubble.  Enjoy these special moments with your new baby.  PDs seem to thrive on drama when there is a new born in my opinion.  Their demand of attention from their sons increases and they want to be included in everything.  Somehow they do not get it that there are times when their sons need to focus of their own FOC or friends.  This seems to trigger some sort of jealousy or maybe insecurity in them. 

Maybe stay away from flying monkeys as well if that can maintain your peace of mind.  With all the hormones going crazy after birth, tiredness and hardly having time to take care of oneself, this crazy making is not what a new mum needs. 

Like you said let your hubby treat this drama the way that he sees suits his conscience and avoid any sort of knowledge of what the Npds are up to, avoid any comment on social media, don't feed them the drama they seek.  Silence is golden in that case. 

As I said before enjoy these special moments.  Do not let pds or flying monkeys rob you of these moments.  You have carried your child for months, look at that little innocent face and forget the nmil.  I know it is difficult, but the loving face of your child, the trust they have in you should help you and give you strength to keep you away from the madness of pd in laws.

*

Andeza

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 455
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2020, 06:37:38 PM »
I've been wondering about this, CMC. Glad to see you weathering the storm. I hope you are enjoying your precious bundle, and that everyone is healthy and happy.

Your experience is of interest to me particularly because later this year DH and I are planning on going for baby #2, and we are currently NC with my own uBPDm. I imagine the fallout will be similar to what you are seeing now, and likely will be revealed to her through the innocent postings of my DH's family.

Why does navigating these joyous times feel much more akin to walking through a minefield? I believe that giving your DH no pointers here is warranted. He'll have to figure this one out for himself, and hopefully see the dysfunction for exactly what it is. Sending you well-wishes, prayers, and hope for much joy.

*

Call Me Cordelia

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • 751
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2020, 07:19:26 PM »
Thanks, you two. Iím glad I have this place to growl a bit, because I still feel I need a bit of validation around these crazy situations I find myself in because I expect to be treated with respect.  :stars: When Iím able to maintain proper perspective this is all a tempest in a teapot. Or not my circus, definitely not my monkeys. Or just staying out of the minefield. Pick your metaphor. Everything you said is true.

But it still takes me a little while to get to where my emotions match the knowledge in my head. Especially when swimming in the hormone soup haha! Each little drama does get easier. So Andeza maybe by the time youíre holding your next bundle of joy you wonít even give a thought to your mom finding out!

*

gettingstronger1

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 159
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2020, 12:43:22 PM »
Congratulations to you and your husband on your new baby!  They grow up so fast.  It seems like just yesterday my teenagers were little ones.  :cheer:

*

candy

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 152
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2020, 07:58:33 PM »
Welcome to the world, little one! You have a real mamma bear watching out for you, you will be fine :bighug:
Congratulations to you and your family, CmC! This is great news. You sound like you are prepared to enjoy this time with good people around.

Kudos to you for having DH deal with his FOO on his own! MIL is pressing the guilt buttons while you are holding a little bunch of innocence in your arms.
I keep my fingers crossed that dealing with this nasty and envious comments will be an eyeopener.

And now you please forget about your ILĎs for a little while  :bigwink:

*

Bloomie

  • Administrator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 12971
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2020, 03:22:22 PM »
Congratulations! What an exciting time for your sweet family! And a time that requires so much of us it doesn't it? It is most wise to take the path you are taking and let the chips fall where they may and your DH deal with his family as he chooses. Bravo!
"If you focus on the hurt, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lesson, you will continue to grow." Dr. Caroline Leaf

Bloomie 🌸

*

all4peace

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 7980
Re: The baby bomb dropped
« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2020, 01:59:41 PM »
Congratulations! I hope your first days with your new little one have been calm and bonding! It helps, doesn't it?, to sometimes be reminded again that we've made the right choices. Take care of yourself!