A first ...(in response to W rant)

  • 2 Replies

Julian R

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • 99
A first ...(in response to W rant)
« on: January 08, 2020, 12:51:46 PM »
I feel like writing about a typical incident that occurred a few days before Christmas - but an incident that ended in an untypical fashion.

My unPDW got into one of her typical rants - about persons, situations not directly related to myself.  She goes on and on and on - repeating stuff that she has repeated dozens of times before - if not more!  Going round in circles getting more and more worked up.  Seeking my agreement and approval even when a lot of the things she comes out with are unfair and not true - and even if I do agree, she carries on, to no apparent purpose apart from unloading - no desire to consider solutions to the problem - just ranting and becoming more and more irate and in a state.

I succeeded in not really JADEing.  I suggested the best thing to do might be for her to go to bed (this was past 10pm)  I told her calmly that all she was achieving was making me miserable, and everything I tried to get her to stop failed.

So I ended up doing something I had never done before - I told her I needed to go out, and I did (this was around 11pm).  I said calmly that I would be back in half an hour.  She followed me to the front door - still ranting about the issue - and I went out.

Half and hour later I returned.  She was upstairs - I stayed downstairs until I knew she was asleep.

The next day it was as if nothing had happened.  She has never mentioned what I did - but the surprising thing is she has not had an episode of major ranting since !!!  (Just the low level debilitating drip drip of negativity). Not sure if this is related to what I did or not; perhaps other factors involved.  And I am under no illusions, she will do it again. But I think next time I will find it easier, be less slow to pursue the getting out of the house route.

I am though a little afraid that one day I might not come back



  • Host Member
  • Hero Member
  • *
  • 2958
Re: A first ...(in response to W rant)
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2020, 03:22:51 AM »
Good for you! You stood up for yourself. You set a boundary. And it worked.



  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 134
Re: A first ...(in response to W rant)
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2020, 12:14:12 AM »
Congrats to you!!
The first few times of sticking to a boundary are hard. It gets easier as you go. Remember the feeling you had at the end of the half an hour. It will help you to hold the boundary next time.
“You held me down, but I got up.
Get ready, ‘cause I’ve had enough.”
-Katy Perry