Broke no contact - never again!

[Jorainbow]

After my H left before Xmas (on reflection another engineered arguement so he could blame me when I snapped) he moved into temporary accommodation. I was determined not to contact him but (again on reflection) his ignore me, then slow drip of nice, then back off and ignore to cause confusion and me to try fix as he was blaming me, then back to nice dance began and I fell for it. I'm not going to berate myself as I read here that it's quite common but after finding that at the same time he had been 'just talking' to another woman I'm determined it won't happen again.  She contacted me asking if we were really separated and of course he has spun her a web of lies. According to her he slept with her and then turned up at my home two hours later with flowers! When confronted he denied it and couldn't understand why his behaviour was unacceptable! Then of course blamed me again. So from now on he gets nothing. The locks are changed. We have no children so we don't need to speak. I started changing my name on official records as I refuse to be tied to him any longer.  I know it will be tough but I need to keep this promise to me.

[blunk]

Good for you! I know that I felt so much relief after all of the "business" of the divorce was final and I was able to go NC.

[Spygirl]

Very glad to hear you see stucking to your guns.

You can do this. Stay strong.

[We3]

Oh, I just posted on your other thread 

It takes a while to eliminate the "if I do this he will love me, if I say this he will see I am right and everything will be ok" delusional dream.
I've physically left and returned so many times throughout our 29 year marriage, with 2 children and a business together.  It was a pattern he could count on.
No contact has followed the same pattern.  Until May 2019 when he "fired" me and I blocked him.  I still have to fight myself from contacting him when he does something really mean - doesn't pay something he is suppose to, changes the locks on the house we still own and contains everything but my clothes, throws items I  have requested on the front porch...

It is a waste of my emotions to try to convince him or even tell him he is wrong - even when he is breaking court orders.  Nothing I do will stop him and unfortunately the courts don't seem to either.  It is a fight I can't "win" so I'm refusing to go to battle. 

One good thing - you have confirmation that he isn't faithful.  YOU aren't crazy