The Quest for Peace

NumbLotus · January 28, 2020, 10:17:29 AM

It's a brand new day!

Psuedonym · January 28, 2020, 10:28:46 AM

It is! Let us know how it goes, pipchick.

pipchick · January 28, 2020, 02:49:33 PM

Thank you all. I got a text message a couple of hours ago now. It said:

Have you moved out are you bothering coming back

I haven't replied. Theres not much to reply to. The letter said I moved out.

PeanutButter · January 28, 2020, 02:56:44 PM

Typical to ask a question that the letter specifically answered ime. Maybe some selective intelligence manipulation? Either way i would not respond to anything unless it was staight up all bs aside communication from her finally seeing the error of her ways.
Good luck with not taking any of the bait. You are freee.yay

pipchick · January 28, 2020, 03:06:39 PM

Thank you PeanutButter

I have to remember I'm not doing it to her. I'm doing it for me.

I feel like this just proves she never cared tbh.

Andeza · January 28, 2020, 03:07:19 PM

Yup, she's just trying to force some sort of engagement with you. You know, the kind that never end well?

So proud of you pipchick! You recognized your situation was not safe and unhealthy, and then, in seeking help, you took the necessary steps to protect yourself and your sanity. That is huge. Absolutely huge!

Now that you are on your own, I highly recommend making a written budget where you sit down at the beginning of each month, write down all your bills and expenses, and then portion out your paycheck accordingly. Anything left over, can go straight into savings. The idea is to keep track of every single one of your dollars (or whatever currency) and make them work for you, not against you.

The reason I mention finances is because that is the one thing most likely to create stress for you now, and the only thing that could make you even consider going back. In other words, now you're out, let's help you stay out.

If you need further help, feel free to message me, don't want to totally hijack the thread.

pipchick · January 28, 2020, 03:15:06 PM

Lol thank you Andeza. I am going to fo that tomorrow as I have two days off now, so I can make a budget. I've never really done that before so I might PM you if I run into anything confusing.

But I think if I make a plan on paper and am not swayed from it then it should work out okay.

doglady · January 28, 2020, 03:15:58 PM

Well done, pipchick. I'm so glad you're out of there. Your healing journey is well under way. Sleep well.

pipchick · February 01, 2020, 01:41:10 PM

update:

I got another sms yesterday morning. This one was nicer. I responded in kind but nothing else.

I feel quite lonely this evening so I am taking myself to the cinema to see David Copperfield.

I always said of myself I never got lonely. Now I think it's because I was saving it all up. When it came, the realisation about my mother made me lonely.

But it is okay. I can take care of myself that way.

I made a budget and will begin a routine for my days starting tomorrow, getting back to a new normal. I've gone back to little things like making my bed each day etc. Those things give me comfort now.

NumbLotus · February 05, 2020, 08:20:02 PM

How is it going?

Outsiderchild · February 06, 2020, 07:02:13 AM

I like the lyrics to this song. Dwight Yoakam sings it and yes, it is very twangy. But, oh the lyrics! https://youtu.be/P0C6-N-jY50

"I ain't that lonely yet..."

It's okay to be lonely. That is a Normal human feeling. It doesn't mean that your decisions and actions were mistakes. It means you are in a state of transformation.

pipchick · February 09, 2020, 05:30:01 PM

Update

I've been quiet. I've been processing things and this past week has been a bit difficult with me grieving the dogs and stuff.

Therapy continues and that is helpful.

I've slowed down with reading and stuff now because I get it already. I have the realisation and I've escaped. I'm just kind of... not lost, not really, just... realising I can decide who to be in terms if my character and qualities. I don't need to be what she says anymore. That's quite a big thing, but it's a little like being adrift on an ocean of possibility.

I'm not lost, just a little... aimless. And I dont know how to rest. My therapist says I'm too hard on myself. Like I want to gave figured all of this out yesterday, when it's not really mental - its emotional, therefore it takes the time it takes.

doglady · February 13, 2020, 05:08:43 AM

I think being quiet is totally understandable, pipchick. You obviously need to rest and lie low for a while after all that's happened. You must be exhausted.
Feeling aimless is also to be expected. As you say there's an ocean of possibility and an exciting lifetime ahead for you. You don't have to rush anything. I think it's important not to force the next step. Look after your wellbeing and engage in self care and these answers will come organically. Best wishes. I'm so glad you've escaped.