PD teacher at school

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Sidney37

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PD teacher at school
« on: January 29, 2020, 10:20:03 AM »
So it's become more and more clear that my DD has a teacher at school who has NPD tendencies.  She's in high school.  Due to the courses that the instructor teaches, she is supposed to have this teacher for courses over the next few years.  No one else teaches the subject area, so there is no other option.  She can't drop the class without consequence. 

There have been multiple examples of PD behavior throughout the year.  I've witnessed some myself at open house and at an extracurricular event. Since we are teaching her how to medium chill and grey rock a PD relative, she was acutely aware that the behaviors are similar.  How do you grey rock a teacher?

This week, she asked the teacher about a grade that was not entered.  The assignment was turned in.  She got full credit, but it was listed as missing and a 0.  She kindly pointed it out weeks ago when it happened and last week.  She was told it would be taken care of.  It wasn't.  Final grades were due in this week.  The day before grades were finalized, she asked if the grade could be corrected.  It brought her final grade down from an A to a B-.  First she was accused of never mentioning it before.  She pointed out that she had mentioned it several weeks ago.   She was accused of lying.  Then in front of other students, the teacher questioned very harshly asking why my DD was so "passive aggressive"!  The teacher projected (this teacher is often passive aggressive to students) , DARVOed her and in the end made her the offender and the teacher the victim.  It turned into a lecture about how awful DD was to the teacher!

She went to see the guidance counselor, who blew her off and asked what her goal was for telling on the teacher.   :aaauuugh:

How should a teenager cope with a PD teacher? 

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Kat1984

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2020, 01:27:52 PM »
Sidney, this is awful.   I don't have any brilliant solutions, but I do have one tip.
Document everything.  If your daughter has an important conversation with the teacher, say about grades or assignments, your daughter can write an email to the teacher immediately after, saying something like "Thanks for meeting with me about my assignment today.  I'm glad to hear that you will be entering credit for that assignment into the gradebook.   It's so important to me to do well in your class" etc. etc

I think that when people know that there is documentation of their actions, they are less likely to try to DARVO.
No guarantee, but at least your daughter may get her assignment credited.
What a nightmare.

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Call Me Cordelia

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2020, 02:35:58 PM »
Ugh. Even if ANY of that were true, itís still the teacherís job to enter grades earned. And a more than reasonable request from your DD.

I had a few teachers like that. The goal was survive until graduation. I agree with documenting. Email directly from a student like that is really a very mature skill. Stinks that your DD has to deal with that but she will probably have a boss or other colleague to work with like this. Itís good to start learning these skills while still a teen. Chances are when your DD becomes harder to bully sheíll cease to be a target.

As to the guidance counselor... probably easier to blow off your daughter than deal with that teacher!

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StayWithMe

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2020, 06:07:32 PM »
Perhaps also a meeting with the principal about what has happened and what to do going forward.  I'm thinking that these days it's very easy to copy your homework but you will also need the date and time stamp.  I would say no matter what method the teacher requires to receive homework, I would also send it to his e-mail address.  If teachers can't give out e-mail addresses, then require the e-mail address of a third party -counselor / principal / whatever or give it to the prinicpal's secretary even.

I can think of at least one positive to your daughter's situation, that is she is learning at a young age behavior that will serve her well through life.

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Fortuna

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2020, 05:25:11 PM »
Yes, document.  You may also be able to talk to the department head for that subject area or cc them on anything pertaining to semester level grades. Since it has had consequences on her grade you are well within rights as a parent to request that communication is monitored by an assistant principal and is cc'd on all things, or have her cc it to you so the teacher knows YOU know. Is there any other way for her to get the instruction (online courses, community college, tutoring) that could be an alternative if things get worse? Especially if there is ANY subjectivity in grading. Have your daughter prepared to keep her head down and be a model student. Any minor infraction may get blown out of proportion. Unfortunately, if the admin is enabling this behavior, there's not a lot you can do except get through it.

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Sidney37

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2020, 01:06:41 PM »
Thanks all.   We are documenting.  I suggested that she only communicate with this teacher by email if possible.  Not an easy lesson to learn, but I guess it's better to learn it now. 

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xredshoesx

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Re: PD teacher at school
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2020, 02:09:24 PM »
i have had colleagues like this.  if you think what they do to kids is bad....imagine what it's like to be the teacher they run and tell on all the time.  document document document and take it to the admin if she don't change that grade.