Myers-Briggs and HSP’s

SonofThunder · January 30, 2020, 02:10:21 PM

Ive recently been investigating deeply into the Myers Briggs personality types and took a free test on the website 'Truity'. The result was an INTJ. I have done some investigation into the traits of an INTJ and it fits me well. In addition, have done some reading on HSP's (Highly Sensitive) and i have many of those traits as well.

Investigating further into both the MBTI types and HSP traits, I can see how the PD traits of my uNPD/BPDw may, because of my type/traits, be so magnified in my focus and so exhausting to be around.

I do believe that experiencing the traits of a PD person, and being around them in general, is exhausting for most, but now im interested in how our MBTI type and potential heightened sensitivities may affect some of us Non's in certain ways. Fascinating to me and I will continue to dive deeper.

I also wonder if there are more dominant MBTI types, or even certain dominant attitudes/orientations (1st/4th letter or 2nd/3rd dominant middle two letters of a type/acronym). that us here at Out of the FOG would have in common.

Again, with regard to Myers Briggs Type (MBTI), I am a INTJ. Anyone else want to share their type/acronym and/or thoughts on its affects around PD persons?

SoT

Call Me Cordelia · January 30, 2020, 05:54:23 PM

Hi! I'm ENFJ, HSP. Married to an INTJ, non-HSP. Both ACONs. (Me: UNBPDF, UNPDM. Him: UAPD, UNPDM)

Did I use enough acronyms?

I get way more triggered and emotional than DH.

DreamingofQuiet · January 31, 2020, 04:49:41 PM

Great topic, Son!

I am an INFJ (pretty close to INFP also) and an HSP. I definitely think it plays a part in how I react to my uBPD mother. I really struggle to maintain boundaries around her. Around anyone, really. I love being around people, but I need a LOT of downtime to recover.

It's funny, in my FOO, we all represent one of the four major groups. As an INFJ, I am in the Idealist category. My brother, an INTJ like you is a Rational. My dad, ESTJ, is a Guardian, and my mom, an ESFP, is an Artisan. No overlap. As close and enmeshed as we were growing up, I also had this sense of aloneness and disconnect as well between the four of us. Maybe a combo of personality type and mental illness/trauma.

I really envied my INTJ brother growing up for his seeming detachment and ability to not show emotion when my mother was going off the deep end. I know he feels things deeply, but he doesn't show much emotion externally, and he clearly feels most comfortable operating out of his intellect.

I see know that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and none of it's good or bad per se. And that, though my father and brother often view any show of emotion as 'hysteria,' that's not really accurate. I can have strong feelings, but, unlike with my mom, they don't have to be out of control or in control of me. And that I am very intelligent, like my brother, but it comes out in different ways.

DoQ

D.Dan · January 31, 2020, 07:19:47 PM

I'm ENFJ followed very closely by INFJ, and a HSP as well.

I believe some of these traits protected me from quite a bit of trauma at the hands of my uPDmom during my childhood, to allow me to grow up far more stable than expected. (I did not believe her version of reality and trusted my own instincts)

Also, due to my kids special needs, a lot of these same traits make it easier to deal with the differing aspects of Autism in 3 different and unique individuals without losing too much momentum in life. The teacher and the counsellor, I have a tendency to switch between the two depending on the situation but both describe me very well.

SonofThunder · February 03, 2020, 07:23:59 AM

Thank you to D.Dan, DoQ and Cordelia for your replies and feedback. So, far i see N, F, and even some J in common between you three and all HSP. If any of you have read the book Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist, you will recognize the term 'caretaker' and its meaning relative to us who are the target of a PD person(s) in our lives.

I do believe there is a real connection between us here at Out of the FOG that lead us to be the targets of a PD and can see why our MBTI traits in common, plus HSP, can lead us to skilled (and therefore manipulated) 'caretakers'. In my case, i dont caretake any longer, which 100% creates its own challenges, but helps to protect myself, but interesting to look back to when i was in the fog about PD. In addition, those traits also lead us to be very sensitive to the abuse. There have been many times over the last years here at Out of the FOG, when i think to myself, how many understanding friends (lol im an 'I=introvert' so few is great) could be made from the Out of the FOG community because of our shared traits. Friends who understand, care and share in the experiences that many of us go through.

There are so many times in my marriage to a uBPD/NPDw, that i realize how little the other people around me understand what its like to live and interact with a PD person, and as a noticer and sensitive person, very exhausting. I look forward to more input on this subject in this thread. Thanks again folks.

SoT

D.Dan · February 03, 2020, 09:45:37 AM

I definitely give off massive Caretaker vibes! I believe I also give off "completely unsuspecting of others" vibes.

There is a possibility that I'm on the autism spectrum. I'm trying to find out through my GP. This possibility has made me aware of my behaviour to people in positions of trust. (I just take them at their word until they harm/try to harm me in an extreme fashion)

SparkStillLit · February 04, 2020, 11:42:53 PM

Wait a minute, what??? I take people at their word until they do bad things.....doesn't everyone do that?
It's one of the things updh hates about me. He's so damn suspicious and I don't want that rubbing off on me (even though it does a little bit, but it's a horrible dissonance in my head because it's so unnatural. )

D.Dan · February 05, 2020, 09:33:38 AM

Quote from: SparkStillLit on February 04, 2020, 11:42:53 PM
Wait a minute, what??? I take people at their word until they do bad things.....doesn't everyone do that?
It's one of the things updh hates about me. He's so damn suspicious and I don't want that rubbing off on me (even though it does a little bit, but it's a horrible dissonance in my head because it's so unnatural. )

I wish it were easy to explain but it's not. I've been trying for over an hour to figure out how to explain this but I just kept going into ultra super detail and losing my point. I've basically trusted certain people that I had no reason to trust besides their role in my life just because they told me I could trust them. LITERALLY.

If you're asking why I think I might be on the autism spectrum, it's a compilation of 36 years of memories, thought processes, reactions, situations, feelings and it's too much to explain on here.

But why I added this? I just didn't want son of thunder's results to be skewed by my answer.

NumbLotus · February 05, 2020, 01:04:57 PM

No, not everybody does, but probably a lot of us do.

I take people at their word until there is good reason not to, as well. It does a number on my mind to see words say one thing and behavior another, because I take the words seriously.

It's hard for me to see behavior because I give words too much weight.