It's okay to be happy

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D.Dan

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It's okay to be happy
« on: January 31, 2020, 03:37:38 PM »
Growing up with a uPDmom, I wasn't allowed feelings. If I showed any happiness or joy, I was accused of enjoying other people's suffering. I was constantly accused of being angry and disrespectful when I stopped showing emotions in my facial expressions. It seemed like my mom wanted to make me cry all the time (or argue with me).

As an adult, I've come across various pwPDs that liked to make fun of my joy in little things. Called me a "Goody two shoes" in a condescending tone with quite a lot of sneering, most often. I felt childish and stupid. I felt like I was too smiley. I felt wrong...

So, for many years I tried to not let my happiness shine through. To moderate it at what I thought were society's acceptable levels to avoid upsetting other people. Sad huh.

But I like being happy. I like smiling for no reason. I like giggling because it's tickles my insides. I like sharing my happiness with others.

Despite how difficult my life circumstances seem to others, I still like being happy about my life!  :)

Today, my new washing machine was delivered. I didn't arrange to have my broken washer hauled away (I forgot, but no big deal because I had the supplies to haul it to the dump myself). The delivery guys took my old washer anyways! They installed my new washer while I tried not to crowd them or be annoying, with my chattering away in excitement! (I've been washing everything by hand for a month until I could afford a washer)

Then as they were leaving, one turned around and said, "keep your positive outlook up! :)"
I thought he was going to say "keep your receipt in case of issues" lol! That got them laughing!

They arrived here straight faced and seemed exhausted and left here with big smiles and it seemed like they suddenly had a lot of energy! They looked a lot brighter then when they arrived! It could just be my imagination but this made me happy!

I like being happy about little joys in life.

I hope everyone here has a wonderful day!  :bighug:

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Andeza

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2020, 04:48:47 PM »
I've worked in several industries, but anytime someone treated me well, chatted, and was just generally kind and polite, it made my day.

Thank you for making those guys' day.

It's a valuable lesson. We can be happy, and if other people have a problem with that, too bad. If they want to be unhappy, they can do it without dragging others along, imo.

Keep your joy!  :bigwink:

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Call Me Cordelia

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2020, 08:39:10 AM »
This post made my day, D! I doubt it was your imagination. Your joy is a gift to the world.

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practical

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2020, 10:22:56 AM »
How wonderful! Happiness is a gift and sharing it is wonderful. You do you :bighug:
ďIf Iím not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Iím only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when?Ē (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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D.Dan

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2020, 12:11:24 PM »
Awesome! This post is doing exactly what I had intended! Spreading the joy!

When I grow up I mean grow older (almost 40 but I feel like I'm 19 lol)...I want such deep laugh line wrinkles that when I smile it lights up an entire room!

I've seen it happen a few times! When these elderly men and women smiled... it was like being blessed by happiness fairies! Everything just becomes more brighter and wonderful! It didn't matter what was going on in my life at that moment, I would always have a great day afterwards!

I want that superpower! The ability to spread joy and happiness to everyone I meet, one smile at a time!  ;D

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D.Dan

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #5 on: February 01, 2020, 12:53:59 PM »
I just realized, I never shared my life goal of "growing old and wrinkly and just smiling at random strangers hoping to make the world just a little brighter" with anyone before. Just like feeling ashamed for being overly happy about nothing, I didn't think people would understand.

It sounds like a silly life goal but it does something in me. It does a little twist which just explodes in excitement in my chest and I just think "I can do that! I can totally do that! I can become a happiness fairy too!" And it makes me smile in the here and now.

 Thanks for giving me a place to share this!  :bighug:

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practical

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #6 on: February 01, 2020, 05:06:20 PM »
When I grow up I mean grow older (almost 40 but I feel like I'm 19 lol)...I want such deep laugh line wrinkles that when I smile it lights up an entire room!

I've seen it happen a few times! When these elderly men and women smiled... it was like being blessed by happiness fairies! Everything just becomes more brighter and wonderful! It didn't matter what was going on in my life at that moment, I would always have a great day afterwards!

I want that superpower! The ability to spread joy and happiness to everyone I meet, one smile at a time!  ;D
I'm right there with you, a little closer agewise though  ;D . This is the one thing I really liked about uNPDm, she had lots of wrinkles, was totally okay with them, because in her world view as long as they were from laughing wrinkles didn't matter.  - Doesn't mean she couldn't be mean, or was able to love unconditionally, but she liked to laugh and she did.

I also love those old, wrinkly faces that tell a life story, and how they radiate smiles with enormous depth and layers.
ďIf Iím not towards myself, who is towards myself? And when Iím only towards myself, what am I? And if not now, when?Ē (Rabbi Hillel)

"I can forgive, but I cannot afford to forget." (Moglow)

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Call Me Cordelia

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #7 on: February 01, 2020, 07:13:34 PM »
Oh, I do understand! My father had deep forehead wrinkles from a shockingly young age, from raising his eyebrows indignantly, in displeasure. Itís hard to describe, but itís a very characteristic facial expression of his. Not a flattering one.

When I hit thirty or so, I noticed I myself had the (barely noticeable) beginnings of those same wrinkles. Scared me so much I resolved to cultivate my laugh lines instead. When we are old our lives are written on our faces. I donít want to spend my life displeased with it!

I want to earn my wrinkles doing good. I wouldnít mind looking like Mother Teresa .  :sunny:

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SparkStillLit

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #8 on: February 01, 2020, 08:44:49 PM »
Omg. I'm 46 and have a surprisingly unwrinkled face. I always tease around that I have RBF what if it's TRUE!!! Maybe I don't scowl but I don't laugh enough either!

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1footouttadefog

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2020, 11:00:02 PM »
One time years ago I was visiting an elderly friend while he was working in his garden.  We were both new to the area.  We chatted about this and that but I noticed he kept looking over at a certain tree that I kept finding myself looking over at as well.  I asked if it seemed  out of focus to him also.  He said yes it was blurry.  I was glad for the affirmation as the other trees were in full focus.  We made our way down hill to the blurry tree to find it full of little cones made of tree material moving around.  We examined them and it was an insect that makes a tent of tree material in it's back.  This tree was so infested by these amazing insects it looked bluury from a distance but because the insects were cammo from the trees own material we could not make them out at a distance just the motion of the trees outline being blurry against the skyline.  We stayed and played with those bugs and watched them and had a blast and we're amazed at the visual trick our eyes had witnessed. 

The joy of little things. 

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Free2Bme

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Re: It's okay to be happy
« Reply #10 on: February 09, 2020, 03:47:35 PM »
Thank you D.Dan & All...

Joy is contagious.  How much more so coming from someone who has experienced great loss and suffering in this life and still can be grateful and joyful !      This carries extra weight.

Joy represents true victory over all the negativity and contempt coming from PD land.