I sent a letter

Started by Adria, February 07, 2020, 02:15:57 PM

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Adria

There was an article posted in the media section here at the form that I thought was awesome, explaining narcissism and scapegoating.  I had one cousin, years ago, who was so kind to me.  And then, of course, heard the smear campaign and bailed on me like all the rest. 

Well, I ran into him one day when I visited my home state. He was cold, but asked a couple questions.   It wasn't the place or time to try and explain my life story or even the questions he asked.  I said, I had to be somewhere (which was true), and I left.  However, when I came back home, I read that if you are asked about it, you should tell what happened, so I feel like maybe I missed my chance, but it was way too overwhelming at the time, and could tell by his stance, he already formed his opinion based on the smear campaigns.

I printed the article, wrote him a light letter, explaining how he was a hero to me as a child and teenager, and that he probably never realized it. I sent my sympathy regarding the death of his parents (I wasn't informed their deaths or of the funerals until after the facts). I explained that I couldn't talk about things when I ran into him because it was a few years ago, and I didn't really know how to explain it, but found this article, so maybe it would answer some of his questions.  It's been decades, so I have no idea how this will go over.  But like dh said, "What is he gonna do, not call ya?" 

I don't know if I did the right thing or not. Eeeek! I guess time will tell. :unsure:
For a flower to blossom, it must rise from the dirt.

appaloosa

I think it was a good thing to send the letter. You told your side of the story after being asked. If the cousin doesn't respond or can't understand, well, nothing lost.....

Adria

Thank you so much Appaloosa,

Last night, I started getting sick to my stomach while second guessing myself.  '
But, Like you said,
QuoteIf the cousin doesn't respond or can't understand, well, nothing lost.....
That was how I felt when I sent it. Then the anxiety set it.  It's all good.
I really appreciate your support. Hugs, Adria
For a flower to blossom, it must rise from the dirt.

nanotech

Cousin may not respond, but they will read it.

You know how you can read or hear something sometimes and think, ' surely not?' but then something happens and you recall what you heard.
And then you think, Aha.
Also it shows that you are still family minded generally. 😍😇xxxxxx😇😍

Adria

Thank you so much Nanotech,

You make great points.  You made me fee better today because as each day passes, I doubt more and more that I should have sent it.
But, after what you wrote, maybe it was a good thing no matter what. I guess I had to try.
For a flower to blossom, it must rise from the dirt.

StayWithMe

By the time I put something in writing, I'm standing by it. The fact that you sent him a letter instead creating an entry on social media means you only wanted him to know about it. If someone gets mad because the contents of that letter gets circulated., then they should blame him.

Adria

StayWIthMe,

I do agree with you.  Yes, by the time I put something in writing, with all the time and effort it takes to make it perfect, I usually have to send it.  I've learned from this forum, however, that maybe that's not always a good idea.  This morning, I woke up and I feel a little better. In my mind, I"m giving it until the end of the week, and then I'll be able to let it go.  The anxiety and overwhelming feelings really caught me off guard. I thought I would handle it much better by now, but whoa! I guess ya never know.  Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate it.

For a flower to blossom, it must rise from the dirt.