Boss blames me when others disagree

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Laurie

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Boss blames me when others disagree
« on: February 13, 2020, 11:43:59 AM »
My boss has a tendency to blame me when others disagree with our position.  In my opinion, he is controlling with me, but uncomfortable with confrontation with his peers.  He then passes the blame for the disagreement and responsibility for it onto me.

I do my best to clarify the situation and point out that I am doing my best to represent our viewpoint.  Any other suggestions?
"There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind." ~ Fred Rogers

"You werenít made to please everybody ó donít make that your mission. Love those who love you and send love to those who donít." ~ Tyler Henry

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eyesopen

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Re: Boss blames me when others disagree
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2020, 12:03:33 PM »
You don't give a lot of detail, so I'll keep my response equally generic.  At work I try to keep discussions focused on problem solving, not on assigning blame.  So if I or anyone else is blamed for something going wrong, I just redirect with something along the lines of, "So what should we do about this?" or "Here's what we should do," depending on the situation.  That helps get everyone's attention back onto what really matters: getting the job done.

Because in the end, bosses and coworkers usually appreciate the person who helps solve the problem more than they condemn the person who allegedly caused it.

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Laurie

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Re: Boss blames me when others disagree
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2020, 12:19:54 PM »
Thanks!  He would much rather the conflict be with me than with his peer, so keeps pretending it is with me. 

I've been saying things like "I couldn't agree more".  I like your suggestions, and will ask him what more I can do and if there is anything he might do.
"There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind." ~ Fred Rogers

"You werenít made to please everybody ó donít make that your mission. Love those who love you and send love to those who donít." ~ Tyler Henry

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mdana

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Re: Boss blames me when others disagree
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2020, 02:53:09 AM »
The situation sounds confusing.

In my experience, thereís often more than 1 root cause to a problem. Does your workplace openly explore the root causes as a team? Then have discussions to decide what solutions to implement?

In my previous job, we did some of that, but I came to realize that it was done just for show. Administration knew all along what  solutions they wanted, so whomever suggested anything contrary was shut down.

Iím not sure if thatís what you mean...

M
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive. The Dalai Lama

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Honey_B

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Re: Boss blames me when others disagree
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2020, 08:23:57 AM »
Too many managers are simply not good leaders. It sounds like your boss can't cope with disagreement and he is afraid that it will reflect badly on him and that his boss may become annoyed with him.

Bad managers often use their employees as scapegoats for whats wrong with their own style of management. And there are many many bad managers out there.

I would start job hunting or find out if its possible to move to another department (with another manager)