THANKS, you guys!!!

[SparkStillLit]

Someone mentioned PDs favorite lines are "I'm bored, I'm lonely, im miserable, I'm stuck here, I can't live like this anymore, I'm going to kill myself " and then followed with a refusal to do anything to help their situation.
Those are updh's lines exactly except he uses "I'm trapped here" because that makes it my fault. I mean, EXACTLY. The suicide thing has only come up once (for a period of time) and was a very veiled and nebulous threat.
No. Wait. It comes up often but it's very veiled. He won't come out and say that, but all the implications are there.
See? I just now caught that.
Those phrases used to really get me embroiled. They'd even be shouted at me if I wasn't reacting good enough.
NOW I see that.
For someone to put those lines out just like that, for me to read, and know that others hear those exact lines and they mean ...well, nothing good or realistic....
It's just so validating.
I think I'm a mean person and blah blah like he says, when I don't respond to all that. It's just so much chaos and nonsense, and all he ever wants to do to "change" it is to either run from it or dump it on someone else, or make everyone else's lives just as chaotic and miserable. He never wants to take it upon himself.
I don't think I have to participate anymore.

[eddiegirl]

"I don't think I have to participate anymore."

I love this so much! You don't have to. And neither do I. So freeing. And painful, but mostly freeing.

[Jsinjin]

Weird    I feel that way a lot; feeling stuck and down about it.   Goes back to me wondering if I'm PD as well.

[SparkStillLit]

It's hard to stay out of the sh*storm. My M started drama last night and I told her I didn't want to have those conversations. She was mortally offended.
Updh started a family wide dustup right after that. Nobody has recovered. I got circles and accusations of doing exactly what he does, and a new one, I "don't listen". Now ST.  Demands of doing things the way he wants. It's just so much, my defenses are low. I popped him again on my supposed bad behavior, which he can't identify, and I popped him too for saying ugly shit to me, which he "doesn't remember" and "in what context" two seconds later.

[SparkStillLit]

It's hard not to react. Updh does these "good behaviors" after everyone gets all wrapped around the axle. Then when nobody responds how he wants them to, or thinks they should, the old behaviors immediately snap back into place. "See, I'm trying and everyone just acts horrible. It doesn't matter what I do. I can't do anything. "

[SparkStillLit]

This is so difficult to go through with a PD. He tells Dd something, then when she in estimates and tries to hold him to it, he backpedals and then gets pissed over her "demands" and "disrespect".  He can't faff around and not keep to his word because she leaves soon, but he immediately blows up when anyone tries to pin him down with stuff. He fights continuously with her now, and blames her entirely.