Unsure...

[Catcol]

Against my better judgement, I find myself on the brink of entering into a relationship with a man who I detect is probably an accomplished and unashamed manipulator of women.

Part of me feels like I'm playing with fire. But I tell myself that in being fully conscious of what this man is doing with his words and his behaviour,
I can resist being controlled by him.

It isn't a relationship that has huge emotional significance for me. I don't think he would be particularly emotionally invested either. It feels a little bit like an itch that needs scratching.

There's a power inbalance. He is 20 years older than me. A senior executive at work. I'm a part time member of the support staff. I wouldn't have noticed him but over time I have found myself the subject of his sustained attentions. Part of me is appalled - some of his behaviour borders on sexual harassment, albeit subtle - but he is hard to ignore and has gotten under my skin.

Am I a fool for not running a mile?

[BeautifulCrazy]

Oh Catcol!

You don't sound unsure.
You sound like you know exactly who this person is and why you should stay away.
You are a valuable and lovable and worthy person. You deserve more.
You are in the right place. Check out the toolbox section and keep reading and posting.
Sending support and best wishes

~BC

[Associate of Daniel]

I think all of us who ignored the red flags we saw at the start deeply regret that we continued into the relationship anyway.

Those of us who didn't recognise the red flags also regret the relationship.

If children are brought into such a relationship it becomes 1,000,000 times worse.

I'd suggest you consider it a gift that you are recognising those major red flags now (in the beginning), and don't involve yourself with him.

But I really have no right to tell you what to do.  You are wise to seek wise counsel.  It's up to you what you do with such knowledge and advice.

AOD

[GettingOOTF]

We all ignored red flags or saw them and thought it would be different for us.

I suggest reading the Chosen Relationships and Separating & Divorcing  sections of these boards. They paint a very accurate picture of what your life will be like if you go ahead with this relationship.

I wouldn't say you were a fool, but I'd encourage you to explore why you think this man is an acceptable choice for a partner. There are so many Domestic Violence red flags here it's frightening.

I always recommend Codependent No More and Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. I think both will be very helpful in your situation. The latter to get an understanding of what it is like to be in an abusive relationship and why it won't ever change.

I hope you stick around here, extricate yourself from this relationship and learn to grow and heal with us.