Letting go

[starshine23]

So I have been slowly distancing myself from my narc father for a while. Last night I sent him a text basically saying that if he wants me and my kids in his life, he has to try. He has to visit. He has to invite us over. He has to show us that he loves us. I cant carry the relationship alone.

Since I texted him I have been full of anxiety. I woke up in the middle of the night and vomited. Then I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. I often get sick to my stomach after reaching out to my father.

I almost hope he just ignores the text and gets out of my life for good. It would be better than this abusive cycle of push and pull.

[No.]

You made a reasonable request and boundary. It's hard for us to feel "allowed" to do that, if we were brainwashed otherwise. I'd say, great job for being brave, strong, and breaking past fear of doing that. If he respects your boundaries he will start making improvements, graciously.

[Maxtrem]

If it helps your decision; Anxiety is a way your body tells you to stay away from a threat (a natural defense mechanism) that in your case your is your NF. Good luck and congratulations for the journey you are undertaking!

[Liketheducks]

Well done you!     You were very reasonable.  If he's not willing to continue on your terms, that's his loss.