Acting Like They Know Everything When They Know Nothing

Started by No., March 06, 2020, 03:53:34 PM

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No.

Why do they go around stating "facts" as if they are sure as sure can be they know what they are talking about, when in fact they couldn't be more wrong? And they do so with the notion that YOU need to be told or educated on the subject.

Saying they are not sure about something would be almost as devastating to them as saying they are sorry and meaning it.


11JB68

 :yeahthat:
Yup!!!
Uocpdh always has to be the smartest person in the room.
He was smarter than the cardiac docs at the hospital  :sadno:

SparkStillLit

All the TIME
Pontificating and endlessly monologuing about some strange shit. Spouting bizarre ideas that nobody thinks! I don't know if it's part of this whole game to get a reaction out of me, or what. It's disordered as hell. I'm beginning to really question some things. Important things.

WinterStar

This seems related to their inability to tolerate any difference of opinion and treating their opinions as fact.

Did you know that Viva paper towels are the best towels ever? uBPD mom taught me that. She literally will not use any other brand of paper towel. I prefer another brand, but that must be because I have never tried Viva paper towels. I must buy Viva paper towels instead.
I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me. -Elizabeth Bennet

Sweetbriar

uNPDf has said more than once that he should have multiple honorary degrees because he is so smart (from reading the newspaper.) He has never, in my observation, read a book or gone to a class. He would think that he knows more than the teacher. He is the most arrogant person I know. And yes, if you have a different opinion than him, he'll put his freudian psychiatrist face on, to try to teach you the right way to think. His way. :wacko:

D.Dan

My uPDmom does this a little, usually about the life decisions me and my sis make that she doesn't agree with. (my guess is she's trying to enmesh with us) Such as relationships, court, kids needs, our houses (she's trying to get us to put her in charge of selling our houses without our ex's consent which is illegal here, without us wanting to move, and despite her lack of realty experience) (the closest she's ever owned a house was renting one through social assistance housing for 4 mths)

My uPDbro1 (the oldest of my younger bros) is REALLY BAD for this. He apparently has the answers and solutions to any and all problems that everyone else might come across, even some we didn't know we had until bro1 fixes it for us without anyone asking. (usually making a non-issue worse or NOW a new problem we gotta fix!) He's the best at (current issue either real or one he magically found) don't you know, just ask anybody!

These, I call his forced favours because he expects to be paid back in some way. I'm also expected to be grateful for these forced favours because "it's the intention that counts, and he was just trying to help you." Sure....right....whatever.... except making more problems that didn't previously exist does NOT HELP!!!

Currently, he is really big on pretending he knows all about home repairs while me and my sis are going through separations/divorces and trying to fix our houses in case of a forced sale. He literally does both half the job and half-assed jobs or just plain steals the tools!

LemonLime

OMG!
My uPDsis is very involved in the Black Lives Matter movement (she's caucasian).
She once told me she has special understanding of the issue because she's "not really White".    :stars:
"Well, it's as if I'm not White".   Ummmm.......OK......
See, although she is Caucasian, she is not just any Caucasian, she is special and has special insight into other peoples' brains, etc etc

It left me literally speechless.  But it gave me a look into how she thinks about most things.  That is, SHE KNOWS EVERYONE BETTER THAN THEY KNOW THEMSELVES!   :aaauuugh:   She is the authority on all things because she has special powers, gifts.   There really is nothing for her to learn from anyone else.  Others should learn from her.
Which is what I have noticed since we were kids.  It is the ultimate boundary issue.   What?  I don't even have the right to my own THOUGHTS?   My private thoughts and opinions? 

blunk

YES, my BPDxh did this. It didn't matter the topic, he always knew more than I did. Especially when it came to performing any sort of task around the house...he once told me that I was raking wrong. Aside from holding the rake so that the tines are pointing up, how is that even possible?!?! Even before I saw the depths of his BPD crazy this was something that always kinda made me sit back and wonder.

It didn't matter if it was something that I had done before and that he hadn't, he would have to explain the "right way" to me in excruciating detail. And if I did express a different way of going about the task, I was either called stupid or a f***ing know it all. Kind of ironic. Another was him telling me how I should breathe when I was running. He'd never run a day in his life, and I was working with a coach and following their instructions...but he knew better.

The only things that I was "better at" were the tasks that he didn't want to do; like all grooming of our 3 dogs (baths, brushing, cutting nails, cleaning ears), and of course picking up the dog poop in the yard. Except that I was sometimes too stupid to do that right, since I wasn't allowed to cut the grass and he would let it go for a month or more until I could no longer find the poop.

Not tooting my own horn here, but I am an intelligent person with a good job. He frequently told me that he resented my success. At one point he asked me to explain something technical to him that had to do with my work. I tried and he wasn't getting it so he asked me to dumb it down. When I did he told me I didn't have to talk to him like he was a f***ing 5 year old. The same went for when he went back to school for photography/web design and had to take a basic math class (fractions). I tried to tutor him, but it was hopeless since he completely hated me knowing this topic and making the mistake of saying something like it's easy once you get the hang of it.

I am the type of person who loves to learn new things, so if you know something that I don't I'm happy to listen. But not when he was just spouting BS to belittle me, or prove that he was smarter. It was definitely one of the more frustrating things to deal with.

20yrsofcrazy

I'm loving this thread.

My updh literally told me the other evening that he's like a mentalist.  He can read people's thoughts and intentions by their facial expressions or body language.   And he uses this to manipulate people.  (Yes, he readily admitted this to me.) :stars:

Then a few hours later he comes through the living room and says he just heard that an average IQ is 115.  Really?!  Isnt that kinda low since he's taken online IQ quizzes and scored a 145.  Huh...he must be really smart.   And walks off puffed up on his supposed greatness.   
:applause:

I couldn't make this up if I tried.    :doh:

Whiteheron

:rofl:
this is just too much.

Yes to most of what Blunk said! Word for word! He always knew more than I did, even on my thesis research! Or if he didn't know it, he declared it useless. I can see now he was threatened by my success, so tried (and succeeded because I let him) to keep me down.

I also mowed he lawn incorrectly - the lines were going the wrong way. I also shoveled snow off of the driveway wrong. Well excuse me, but if the grass was cut or the driveway cleared of snow...how could it be wrong? I mean, who cares? Besides him, that is.

20years - my stbx also told me something very similar. He said he could accurately read people and could determine their intentions without them saying a word. He also admitted to using this to is advantage. Then he tried it out on me - it didn't work  :tongue2:

He also claimed his IQ was in the upper 140s. So very, very smart. Too bad his EQ doesn't come close to matching his IQ.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

No.

These stories are interesting! I've never been married, but after having attracted a long line of PD people to date, I'm hoping next time the red flags will be flying, or not! One thing I want to look for, as well as be, is just humble. The smartest people in the world who are humble would agree that the more you know, the more you realize you don't have a clue. It really makes the pufed up know-it-alls seem veers insecure.

My know-it-all is my Nm. It's aggravating learning how I was controlled and brainwashed with "knowledge" that is simply not true. She tried to make it seem sit was all out of concern and protection, but it was really control. She kept me from doing all of the things I wanted to do as a young person, and I could net even express a thought about it or opinion without berating lectures about how I "didn't know what I was talking about, etc.." I can't say how many times this happened, and on every topic I cared about. NONE of what she said turned out to be true. And it certainly wouldn't be true had I followed a path and mindset of living up to my potential. When I finally got out of the house, my goal seemed to be to simply exist without someone attacking me, and being able to eat and dress and move about the world the way I wanted.

clara

One behavior I've noticed in some PDs I've known is their ability to pick up the most obscure "facts" from some very questionable sources and then pontificate endlessly on these "facts" even when they make no sense.  Seems it's because they enjoy feeling they know something you don't, and if this takes them to some really strange places then so be it, at least they know something you don't!  And because the sources are often just a bunch of made up nonsense by charlatans or other PDs, you can't argue with them because their sense of reality is being ordered by something not real.  And they love this.  They love being able to shoot you down with their nonsense "facts" that are impermeable to the truth or any kind of rational thought.  All so they can prove, once again, how superior they are to you. 

1footouttadefog

I am always happy to meet the smartest person in the room.  Being a curios oerson and a lover of learning its nice to listen in ir join in a conversation that offers stimulation or knowledge. 

So many types of pd will immediately feel challenged and hate that someone else merits attention or is getting attention etc. 

I truely think this is why so many repirters and interviewers will interupt amd rephrase the exoerts they are interviewing so often.  Its theor narcissism being threatened.