Adult son with BPD and alcoholism

[Ishopelost]

AS was diagnosed with BPD in treatment which now when I research it makes so much sense.  He hates his life.  He is constantly throwing out the suicide card because his life sucks but he doesn't seem to realize it was his choices that have made his life this way.  He spends recklessly and has his credit cards to the max.  Bought a car on an impulse.  Refuses to do any aftercare for his sobriety like sober living, DBT counseling.  The entire time he is asking for money but not money that goes towards to recovery so we say no.  Anger flares.    Just got more tattoos as well but then asks for money for lunch....   I have to add that he doesn't live at all near us so he is many states away.
Lives alone against all the recommendations.  Refuses to do sober living because that would restrain him in finding a girlfriend.... That is another thing.. always NEEDS a girlfriend to feel whole.  Then he treats her like shit, throws the suicide card to get them back and reals them in.  When they finally do leave he crashes bad and needs rehab.   This cycle has to end. 
It may end with him taking his life.   We have no idea how to help anymore.  He will be on his own insurance shortly.

[Free2Bme]

Ishopelost,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through with your DS.  It sounds as if you have walked this road for a while and have invested a lot in him.  It's understandable that you are feeling frustrating, hurt and concerned about his future.  There is always the possibility that he will begin to connect his actions with his consequences.  Meanwhile, I hope you can find strength to set boundaries and receive support from others. 

This is a great place for learning, support and feedback.