M driving me CUH-RAYZAY with DD gone

[SparkStillLit]

She has several times behaved as though it was HER daughter. I thought maybe I was overly sensitive, but I ran this by h and he actually agrees.
She has called me every single day, sometimes multiple times, and left drama filled sobbing messages, in spite of the fact that I said I wanted to be left alone to process.
She has offered weird advice in these messages (I have yet to get all the way through one) such as "laying in DD'S bed". CREEPY. She alternately behaves as if DD has died, and as if it's HER child.
She keeps offering (through sobs) for me/us to come by and do mother/daughter or "family" things. HELL NO. We've tried to avoid that stuff as much as possible as it IS.
She's come by when we weren't here and tried to pump DS for information (which he would not deliver. He HATES that.)
I haven't had a chance to PROCESS. I don't want DRAMA while doing so.

[SparkStillLit]

My only contact with her has been email. She doesn't know how to use it....pretty much at all....so I can send her things and not deal with a drama response. Dd has sent us an adorbs pic of her in fatigues and I have provided some very minimal overviews of doings. I will not call while I continue to get these sobbing carry ons and I won't have contact where she can do that in person.

[11JB68]

I'm sure my ubpdm would be the same if I were in contact and had a similar thing with ds

[Liketheducks]

You're doing great under such difficult circumstances.   Hang in there.   Take care of you.   The rest will handle itself.