Corona-had to go there

Started by Jsinjin, March 14, 2020, 10:43:28 PM

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Jsinjin

My uOCPDw is a local politician and hyper focused on both social media and constituents asking questions.

Or kids have been social quarantined with their schools shutting down and sports and activities cut.   

But at home we have to be very serious...  Kids wasting food, discussions about chores, homework, even vacuuming is a way to discuss how important the Corona virus is and why they should care because of the importance of the Corona virus.

I guess if it wasn't the Corona virus it would be some other major crisis.
It is unwise to seek prominence in a field whose routine chores you do not enjoy.

-Wolfgang Pauli

Whiteheron

I can relate - not this time, as I'm observing his crazy from a distance (thankfully!). But with Ebola, SARS, H1N1...you name it - if it was out there, it was used an an excuse to further control, demean, isolate...all under the guise of "being safe."

You're right - it's always something. stbx loves any excuse to panic and to try to spread this panic to everyone around him.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

clara

A uNPD friend once had the entire, and I mean entire, basement of a house he was renting stocked full of food, water, and miscellaneous survival gear because of his belief that society was about to collapse, and when after several years it didn't collapse, simply left almost all of the stuff when he moved out.  But he loved showing me  how well-prepared he was.  So I can only imagine how he's reacting now.  Probably in full panic mode, since I've not heard from him in awhile even though we were supposed to get together for a "farewell" dinner because, once again, he's moving.  Just as well.  I wasn't looking forward to the get-together although I said I'd like to do it.  I was just being nice for some stupid reason. Well, lately he's been nice to me since he's driven away all of his other friends and he has been wanting someone to talk to. 

But  yeah, there's always some imminent disaster about to strike, something he'd love to go on and on about, lecture me about, berate me for not taking it seriously etc.  He created these situations mostly out of thin air because he could also create his own solutions, thus giving him a sense of control.  The rest of us were "sheeple" for not doing as he was doing.  So, in those NPDs who tend to do this, how are they reacting now?  How do they deal with not being able to control this because it happens to be real? 

pushit

Quote from: clara on March 15, 2020, 09:12:47 AM
So, in those NPDs who tend to do this, how are they reacting now?  How do they deal with not being able to control this because it happens to be real? 

I wonder if this explains all the idiots stockpiling toilet paper right now?  Sounds silly, but sort of a serious question.  I've heard about 20% of people have a PD of some sort, those that do go crazy at a time like this, and it creates headlines.

blunk

I had a bit of a different experience with my BPDxh, in that he thought he had whatever the disease of the day was...swine flu, ebola, avian flu. And, of course, he had to be babied when he was sick.

He was also a bit of a doomsdayer. So there was a huge bin of food and other random survival supplies in my pantry. The problem was, he picked the strangest things to focus on. He didn't opt for long-life non-perishable foods, it was more like junk food. And he always had this idea that it was imminent that someone would break down our door to steal our supplies, to the point where he would berate me for not wanting to learn how to shoot a gun. I always felt it was pretty bizarre.

Free2Bme

I'm not missing updxh's doomsday predictions this week.  Historically, when one of these crisis's came around he would respond by telling me and kids how life as we knew it was very uncertain, and how all my security could collapse in a moment and we were powerless...blah,blah, blah.

Even though I am not one to buy into media panic, because my ex was so very intelligent (seriously), and 'in-the-know', after he worked on me for week/months with his 'chicken-little, the sky if falling' talk, I would begin to worry too.

Mission accomplished. 

I now believe that he wasn't really concerned one bit about the crisis du jour, it was just another tool he used to create chaos, and keep me and kids off balance and looking to him for all the answers. The pattern was create trauma and then try and be the hero   :stars:

DD's and I are off of respective obligations this week.  The pantry is full. We are healthy. I'm grateful for the time to catch up on rest and my to-do list.

Best to everyone here  :)

BeautifulCrazy

This pandemic is a dream for my uPDh. He loves this kind of thing! He is right. He was right all along. He has endless commentary and opinions.  He has endless criticisms and complaints. His hoarding behaviours are heroic and oh so smart! I told you so! We have toilet paper enough for two years! (Yea, he's THAT guy. Sorry.) There is drama. There is rage. His worries were all founded. His doomsdaying was all real. His paranoias were all justified. His conspiracy theories were all correct. We must all listen and take him very, VERY seriously! We are powerless. He is all-knowing and wise. This dog is having his day.
Fine with me. It's a wonderful distraction. He doesn't know it but I am LOVING this quarantine!

A forum friend pointed out to me recently that time is a resource when escaping a PD. I am 'stuck' at home with the kids for the next few weeks. DH is at work. The benefits already are awesome!

- Lots of time with the kids, modeling and discussing functional behaviour, working on and applying our family interaction and communication skills from therapy.
- Time and privacy at home to pack up things that are precious and get them into our storage unit.
- Privacy to talk to friends and family and work out plans and details.
- I can rearrange / clean out a bit of his rediculous hoardings like some of the tens of thousands of used paper coffee cups. This will make convenient cover for the empty spaces where I have moved out my things.
- I can browse local rentals with my feet up and a cup of coffee in hand instead of hiding in the bathroom or stressing to get it done in the 35 minutes after work before he gets home.
- We can hang out and do stuff and pursue our interests and make huge messes and have fun with nobody belittling, bullying, demeaning or harassing us about any of it. It's truly a lovely stay-cation!! Yay!!
I already feel strong and relaxed and fortified for when he comes home.
Fingers crossed he doesn't get sick (real or imagined).  :bigwink:

Free2Bme

BC, I am smiling at your post.  This is all really wonderful for you and children.  I hope you can get everything out of this time and more !

Mostly, I hope that he will not get sick (real or contrived). 

Happy stay-cation !

Whiteheron

Quote from: BeautifulCrazy on March 16, 2020, 02:04:05 PM
This pandemic is a dream for my uPDh. He loves this kind of thing! He is right. He was right all along. He has endless commentary and opinions.  He has endless criticisms and complaints. His hoarding behaviours are heroic and oh so smart! I told you so! We have toilet paper enough for two years! (Yea, he's THAT guy. Sorry.) There is drama. There is rage. His worries were all founded. His doomsdaying was all real. His paranoias were all justified. His conspiracy theories were all correct. We must all listen and take him very, VERY seriously! We are powerless. He is all-knowing and wise. This dog is having his day.
:yeahthat: :yeahthat: :yeahthat:
Yes! He is currently trying to get the kids worked up in a frenzy - detailing to them how he's prepped and even asking "has mom started prepping yet??" Kids had visitation with him this weekend - came back balls of anxiety and didn't want me to leave their sides (they're 13 and 16). They've been needing constant reassurances from me. I have only a few days to get them back on track before they are immersed in the crazy again.  :sadno:

I feel he will only get worse...because as you mentioned, beautifulcrazy, he's finally been proven right!

Have I mentioned that he's insisting I call him so we can discuss the "situation?" "things he won't put into text" because of his "position" in his company.  :blink: no thanks, I think I'll take a pass on the crazy this time.
You can't destroy me if I don't care.

Being able to survive it doesn't mean it was ever ok.

Swarley

My friend was overseas visiting her parents when all this happened and she's Full Of Drama because of course it's all happening To Her Personally and It's So Unfair. Ten days ago or so she was texting me about "some idiot" who went to her city's hospital with symptoms and tested positive, causing the hospital and attached university to go on lockdown ("How could anyone be so selfish?" she said "Everyone will panic now"). She's stuck at home with her parents with whom she doesn't get along well. She doesn't want to stay; she's afraid to fly home. If she does fly home, she won't have a good time of it here- she doesn't do well for long periods on her own and she'll be stuck in her hoarded house alone for weeks except for trips to get food.

1footouttadefog

This is sad to read being a prepper myself.  Sad because real preppers are getting lumped in with and even infiltrated by the power grabbing paranoid folks.  Amd that the crazymakers who hope for bad times are all being activated into fits of narcisstic-supply gathering.

I am part of a preparedness network.  We prep for crisis but also network to help others in crisis. We dont feel we are better or more knowing just blessed and able to share.  During a hurricane for example I was sitting in my well lit dry and warm home eneracting with a network of volunteers.  And we helped people evac from the coast. Found horse trailers and pastures for their farm animals houses for groups of people with no where to go etc etc.  We found folks who needed help with online inteligence gathering and fed it to the cajun navy.  I was able to send help to some elderly who were in an attic.

Now with this corona virus thing our online forums are getting alot of the pd prepper types .   they pose and grand stand and give all sorts of conspiracy information and one minute the world is ending and the next its this or that party or global cabal etc etc.  The male fun of people coming in seeling advise and belittle their efforts thus far etc.

As a previous post said of a person they know its like it happening to just that person.  The whole world is conspiring to inconvienence these individuals.

I am so sorry the original posters  spouse is working the kids up.  Being a prepper should cause less stress not more.  It should be about less worry and being in a position to ride out a stirm in peace bless others with reassurance and material goods if needed.  I felt glad I was ready and could go buy supplies for my elderly octa and nona friends so they did not have to face crowds

I am fortunate that my pd is so far doing pretty well with all of this.  He is missing fast food and pouting a bit but only at annoyance level thus far. 

My biggest annoyance with the preppers and survivalists is that so many are waiting with baited breath for the chance to be right.  To finally have a value or some special knowledge that counts. 

Them: I can make soap from acorn jiuce, snail slime, a rare mushroom, and crushed river rocks using a special contraption i ordered parts from Mongolia the Ukraine and Romania to build.  When TEOTWAWKI or SHTF comes I will make soap and trade it for stuff. I will have a monopoly on soap for the entire region.

Me: I bought a couple dozen extra on BOGO over the past several years and put them in a box in the garage.  Gave some to a friend whose survivalist husband left her broke with 4 little and the lights off and no food in the house, and he took his cases of mres with him. I took some to the food bank once also, maybe I should recount or should i start freezing snails.
   


NumbLotus

I was somewhat involved in the prepper community a while back and I agree. Therr are all kinds of preppers. I knew ones who were calm and just interested in having a solid pantry, go bag, garden, and certain skills and tools to weather short and longer term issues. There's nothing inherently crazy about prepping - but of course crazy can certainly be added to it.

I would have had my ducks in a row for this but since my life fell apart I just don't have the energy to even care.

Being with my mom right now, she just decided she wants to spend the next two weeks in total lockdown, not even grocery delivery - she's nervous. So tomorrow I will plan meals and such for two+ weeks and we'll get all the groceries we need. I think we're all set with everything else. Gosh, the three of us are going through 1 roll of TP every six days. We're FINE.
Just a castaway, an island lost at sea
Another lonely day, noone here but me
More loneliness than any man could bear