One year ago

Started by pushit, March 15, 2020, 01:42:58 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

pushit

Today is the one year anniversary of the day I moved out and had my exPDw served with divorce papers.  I was so saddened at the time but I felt I had no choice, her controlling and psychotic behavior was destroying the lives of everyone in our family.  I was so worried about what she might do to our kids, and what she might try to do to my reputation.  I'll never forget how that day felt at work after I got word that she had been served, I spent so much time just walking around the parking lot in a daze.

What a difference a year makes.  The divorce is finalized, and I have 50/50 access to my kids.  The kids and I are happier than we've ever been, and there is so much peace in my life.  I get to make all my own decisions about life and finances, and get to be the parent I want to be without someone interrupting and undermining me.  There is a lot of love and laughter in my house, and the kids are free to be themselves.  All of her bluff and bluster was just that, she was never able to take me down and her attempts since then have only shown her instability to the outside world.  The evidence is abundant, over time medical providers and teachers are showing more and more that they want to communicate with me instead of her.

One year ago I was walking around in a daze and making reservations at a hotel, so uncertain of what the future held for the kids and I.  Today I am walking around in the house I just purchased, placing things where I want them with a big smile on my face.  I know I'm not 100% recovered yet, as this is a growing experience and I still need to find my new self after all of this.  I can't go back to who I was before, as that is the person that got suckered into that unhealthy relationship in the first place.  I'm getting there, though. 

To those of you still struggling with your decision - all I can say is that if you want to leave you just have to make that decision and know you will walk through hell for a period of time, but it certainly is better on the other side.  Also, a heartfelt thank you to everyone on this site for sharing your stories and advice with me.  I couldn't have done it without a place like this to come to.

SeaGlass

I am so happy for you pushit! Thank you for the up date!

No.

You did a great thing for your children and yourself. Children need to know their father would take a stand for them, and you did. I'm glad things can be happy now!

Poison Ivy

Thanks for the update!

BeautifulCrazy

Heck yeah! Good for you pushit! I'm so happy for you!!
You know, I really needed to read this today!
For me, the rough stuff is just beginning. But a year goes by so quickly! I definitely have the fortitude to get through a year. Thanks for some sunshine and hope!!

GettingOOTF

This is so great to read. It's wonderful that your children are doing so well and have a chance at experiencing a calm, stable and loving home.

I can't recall anyone coming back and saying their life got worse after they left. I'm grateful for every single day of my new life. Not every day is easy and I still face challenges but everything is so much more manageable without my BPDxH in my life.

Kat54

Thanks for the update. Congratulations on your new happy life!!  Happy you and your children are doing well.

I for myself am so close. Right behind you... put an offer on a new home. Divorce hopefully in the next month will be finalized. My kids are young adults and they are better but a lot of healing.

Good luck to you. Everyone deserves a fresh start!!

Free2Bme

Thanks for sharing your good news here pushit. 

I am happy for you & your children and the opportunity for continued peace and growth, really exciting!

I'm certain it would have been exponentially more difficult to endure pandemic stress while still contending with the stress of living with a disordered loved one.

Much to be thankful for  :)