A new look at a loathed expression

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Associate of Daniel

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A new look at a loathed expression
« on: March 26, 2020, 07:46:12 PM »
This corona virus situation will I hope make all of us re evaluate the values we have in life and give us greater understanding and compassion for others.

One thing that I'm reviewing is an expression often used which I absolutely loathe.

"It's all relative."

It's a sentence that I've found to often be used to belittle someone, to make them feel that their problems are insignificant, or that they as people were stupid.

I am grateful that so far I and my family have not been affected materially or health wise. But as a family there has been a consequence of the virus that we are struggling with.

The difficulty is that it is very much a "first world" problem. But it is very real for us.  Hence is is "relative".

I feel like a hypocrite but we have a grief that we feel and that we need to deal with.

My niece was a few weeks ago chosen for the olympic team in her sport.  Many months ago she essentially put her life on hold to pursue the opportunity.  She deferred her medical degree, left family and boyfriend go and live interstate and train at the national training centre.

Through that time the athletes, as you know, have had training opportunities and qualifying events cancelled due to the virus. In our country, before that, we had a devastating natural disaster which eventually resulted in the athletes being temporarily moved interstate.

Their training and preparation for the olympics has been massively disrupted and the uncertainty and anxiety has been huge, on top of the gruelling training regime and separation from friends and family.

The training centre was finally closed a couple of days ago and the athletes sent home.

It was a mad scramble for my niece to pack up her unit and try to get home across the state border before it was likely closed. My nephew (her brother) flew up to help and they shared the drive back. He's a fantastic brother.

All day I had a lump in my stomache. I was so relieved to hear they'd got across the border, and then later to hear they'd arrived home.

Now, it's essentially straight into self isolation for my niece, as it is for all of us.

She can't train properly due to the shut downs. We're all being urged to stay home.  It's a very abnormal and unhealthy situation for her to come home to, and to deal with her frustration and grief.

Yes, the olympics will probably go ahead next year. But my niece now has to decide (as do all the other athletes) whether or not to put her life/career on hold for yet another year. Or just give up that olympic opportunity.

So, yes. Very much a first world issue. But nonetheless, real to us.

I'm learning to loathe a little less the expression, "It's all relative."

I feel like such a hypocrite since so many people around the world are losing jobs, have lost loved ones to the virus, have the virus themselves. Others are putting their lives at risk -doctors, nurses, supermarket workers etc. (Thank-you, many heart felt thank-yous to those folks!)  Many facing financial ruin.

But the grief and anxiety is real for all of us, regardless of the differences in personal circumstances.

I hope you are all staying well and positive.




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Re: A new look at a loathed expression
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2020, 11:28:26 PM »
We all have the right to mourn whatever we are losing/missing here. I can see peoples points that others have or have had it worse. That doesn't diminish our own feelings.
My ds graduated a semester early from a very prestigious University. Lots of hard work and money invested. Also my Alma mater. Just found out that commencement will be postponed... Sort of a let down for all of us, glad they will have it, but it won't be the same...



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Re: A new look at a loathed expression
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2020, 02:08:50 PM »
There is no guilt in feeling the hurt and disappointment of those you love and are close to. 

We will all be grieving losses and dissapointments even if we are lucky not to lose anyone to illness.

I am fortunate to be minimally impacted financially thus far. However I am a landlord and will likely loose income to accommodate and work with renters who loose jobs and I  already price my rents well below the market.  There challenges will be my challenge also.  First world problem maybe but real to us. 

My DD is home from university working online. She feels ripped off as clumsy lessons are tossed up online by aging professors not familiar with technology.  She is questioning whether to continue or take a semester off if courses are still online in fall. 

My other student will be postponing drivers Ed and other activities. 

A brother works for a  top three delivery service and is being exposed as are nurse friends of mine. 

A friend with 4 kids cannot work most days because kids are out of school and day care closed. Her farmer boss is seeking outlets to replace the restaurants who bought his produce.

This is real to everyone even if "relative".    It is through recognizing the ways in which it's real that we can innovate and overcome obstacles and reduce the impacts.