NC but they have our kitty

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NC but they have our kitty
« on: May 25, 2020, 01:07:06 PM »
Hey all!

We are moving far away in a few months and not sure what to do about our kitty. She has been living with my PD parents for over 2 years now because the kitty was TERRIFIED of our young children (she would hide under the bed, extremely distressed, refused to come out, etc.) so she went to stay with my parents. We have since gone NC.

I do not want to break NC to try and get her back, because it will start the abuse all over again, they will leverage to see our kids, etc. But, I feel like I am abandoning our cat to PD people who may be hoarders. Our kitty probably still would be terrified with us since we now have very active and loud toddlers. But I feel so guilty about our kitty and worry that my parents won't take care of her, even though I know they do well with animals (better than people I would say).

Any advice? I don't want to abandon our sweety kitty but we are moving and I have worked so hard to be NC. My PD father did show up at our door a few months ago and said kitty was doing well and I know that he is attached to her.

Thanks all! 



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Re: NC but they have our kitty
« Reply #1 on: May 25, 2020, 02:23:40 PM »
I dont think you should break NC. That is just my opinion though and I cant possibly know what is best for you.
I absolutely LOVE cats.
However we must prioritise ourselves and our LO. Sometimes we do have to leave behind loved ones when we save ourselves. Be that siblings, grandparents, uncles and aunts, and even adult children. We will grieve HARD for them, but we have to do what we have to do.
Have compassion for yourself. You probably know in your gut what you must do IMO
It may shatter your heart for a time.
I think the kitty will be fine and may be better off to stay where its been most of its life anyway.
« Last Edit: May 25, 2020, 02:50:44 PM by PeanutButter »
If there is a hidden seed of evil inside of children adults planted it there -LundyBancroft  Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong good or bad -DebbieFord The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none -Thomas Carlyle



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Re: NC but they have our kitty
« Reply #2 on: May 25, 2020, 02:51:13 PM »
I let my ex take one of my cats. It was heartbreaking but honestly it was the better of my available options. He was making my life hell and using the threat of taking the cats to get me to do what he wanted. One day I realized that it would be best if I let him have one.

The cat has been with your parents for two years. It will be unsettling to the cat to be taken away from its home. Unless you think your moving away will cause them to start mistreating the cat I’d leave things as they are. It’s highly unlikely your parents will give you back the cat with out a fight. Knowing they can use it as leverage will only make them hold on tighter
« Last Edit: May 25, 2020, 02:53:29 PM by GettingOOTF »