how do i deal with pressure to befriend people who don't interest me at church

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tragedy or hope

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So I am long term spouse of an unpdh. He is very persistent in trying to get me to meet with people who are of our same faith (supposedly) we meet at church or elsewhere that I find boring and would never invite into my life.

new to the community, the first person he wants to get Nfeed from is the pastor. I am the complete opposite and try to leave them alone as they are tired after sermons etc.. unpdh wants to get them to go to lunch as he wants to espouse all of his "book learnin" to them.

weird personalities come and go into our lives because he will invite any male person to "his" bible study, hence I am eventually pressured to know about them and their spouses. I am not respected in this as he keeps pressuring... little by little he tries to share details to get me interested in "his" flying monkey group.

because they are his flying monkeys i want no part in it. it will be all about him no matter what goes on. women choose friends differently.

he never stops the pressure. "I wish we had some couples we could be friends with" I have been down that road for decades. it is never good for me. i am his sidekick, punchline, etc

It is a sad place we are in. he has his "friends" I have mine. it would be nice to know some couples, but i am sick of him taking all the air out of the room. I have told him so... he doesn't care. he told me "people like me more than they like you."

i want to stop getting rattled with his consistent maybe "gaslighting" on this issue.  it makes me feel worn down which is where he is going with all this.

they have amazing inexhausable tenacity.
"When people show you who they are, believe them."
~Maya Angelou

Believe it the first time, or you will spend the rest of your life in disbelief of what they can/will do; to you.

Family systems are like spider webs. It takes years to get untangled and you still have bits of web on you. T or H


Penny Lane

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Hi there and I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Have you read about the medium chill technique at all? It's in the toolbox and I find it very helpful in situations like this. Basically it says to be boring, don't argue, just say noncommittal things. Maybe that helps you here too.