Wondering how enD is doing with UPDm in quarantine

[Sidney37]

Is anyone left wondering how enabling parents are coping with their PD spouses in quarantine?  I know I shouldn't care, but I'm truly wondering how enD is coping with uNPDm in a self quarantine/lockdown situation.  His mental health can't take it when he has to be with her on holiday or for hours a day at home.  He escapes to his part time job, to help others around the neighborhood, visits church folks, take drives to the store,  etc.  I just keep feeling so relieved that I am NC and not having to have her stress dump on me at this time.  I can't imagine what it would do to my stress level and the stress level of my immediate family.  We are already feeling stressed from not having left the house even once in well over a month.  I can't imagine if she was calling constantly demanding that I do things for her or just listen to her complaints.  I just can't imagine that is going well for enD either.    I'm not interested in opening up contact to find out, but as always I feel bad for him for staying with her all of these years. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

I think it's generous that you still care about him, despite everything. That you even have a brain cell to spare with all the demands on you right now.

I've been feeling similarly about my e/NM. She's at least able to escape to work, but NF would be home full time. I'm sure it's awful. I actually had a dream about them that I was in a restaurant with them and NF sat down and expected to be served, even though nobody else was there and it was takeout only. He was furious that no one was serving them and HE needed to get out of the house. They were so slow! He needed to eat a meal out on a real plate!

It was absurdly realistic. And that brought me right back to relief!

My mom and your dad have witnessed for years who they were married to. They chose to stay, year in and year out. The choices we make have even more impact in the extraordinary times. Sucks for them. And we all know there's nothing you can do. I'm so glad it doesn't suck so much for us!

[Blueberry Pancakes]

That thought also crosses my mind and I can only believe it must be worse than ever for them. They have no excuse to leave the situation, no outside activities, no made up highly important responsibility to tend to. It must be a pressure cooker. Perhaps you contrast that thought to your own circumstance as I have. Perhaps you are like me and have found peace in the middle of this. I have actually been enjoying tidying up closets in my house, taking walks with my darling husband in the evenings, and doting on our sweet little kitty.