[doglady]

I found this video on Transactional Analysis informative and very helpful. There are also Parts 2 and 3 which expand on the concept. I’ve read a little in the past on the TA concept but since coming more OOTF I can now very much identify with the concepts of the Parent-Adult-Child states - both how I start a transaction and how I respond - and I was nodding furiously when recognising some of my own ‘gimmicks’ that I use when engaged in ‘playing games’ with others. Eg. Always needing to be or be seen as reasonable (aka unflappable) even when I might be seething inside.

https://youtu.be/nKNyFSLJy6o (part 1)

I’d be really interested to see what other members think.

[PeanutButter]

doglady, thanks. Im always looking for more tips for my arsenal.

I like the foundation of the theory that when your stuck repeating a destructive pattern with someone it is your state of mind NOT their behavior that is keeping it going.
 
The theory seems complimentary/helpful to focusing on ourselves, our thoughts, and our emotions in order to move forward in a healthier way within a problematic relationship or moving on from one.
 
The ADULT state seems to keep us 'present' in the moment.(ideal but takes concious effort)

The CHILD and PARENT modes seems to coinside with our default (unconscious) emotionally reactive states.