Oops .... mom leaving nursing home

[Amadahy]

Hey, yall,

I misspoke in my earlier post about Nmom going to long term care. It was rehab, but I thought this was the time to transition to long-term care.  Nope, nah, nada, no-go!   

My Nmom is immortal.

She has excelled with therapy and is being sent home Tues 5/5.  I had one day of freak out, one day of recovering from freak out, now I'm trying to be meh, again.

But, my body remembers.

Headaches, high blood pressure, etc.  She will have help, some carers, loads of services, and so forth. There will be very little I have to physically do.  It's the mental space, the energy suck, the possibility that when the phone rings it will be her apartment manager telling me she's fallen again.  I'm just tired, y'all.  You get it.

So, she'll go home Tuesday. She'll have care. She'll probably fall again. And, I'm trying to tell myself that I've done all I can.  More than anyone should have to think about between trying to heal from C-PTSD, deal with COVID-19, and just the daily dailies of life.  I get angry when I think about how I let her rule my life until just four years ago, all that wasted time. But, that just hurts me and I'm very thankful that before the quarantine I had a great EMDR session that helped me release some regrets about this.

Hope everyone is hanging in there, being kind to yourselves. I'm about to prepare an early dinner for my FOC and then relax with an adult beverage for the remainder of the day. 

Amadahy

[SunnyMeadow]

I understand! Sadly, we spend an amazing amount of time and brain power thinking about them when all they worry about is themselves.   

My uPDmother is immortal too and I'm not too happy about it. I hope you can get back to  soon. 

[Psuedonym]

Everything you said, ditto! Stay strong,  Amadahy!!

[WomanInterrupted]

Well, they'd like to kid themselves they're immortal.  UnNPD Ray recently found out that's not the case.   

Whatever your mom does - don't get involved and try not to think about her.  Block her number (if it helps), go about your business and if it involves working from home without pants, so be it.   

Let the professionals deal with her and if anybody calls you, stating that she fell and she's going to the hospital, thank them -and then do nothing. 

And keep doing nothing unless you find yourself in the position to speak to somebody who can order a competency test for your mom.  Other than that, stay out of it and block numbers like crazy, if you need to - or even if you just *want* to.

Sometimes wanting  to is more important  than needing to.

Above all - keep your hands and feet in the shark cage!

[nanotech]

I'm sorry that has happened to you. I agree about stepping back both  physically and emotionally.
My dads got on my last nerve today by declaring that because of Covid he's ' never ever EVER going into a care home!'
Wow,  big statement dad! There may be a time in the future when he WILL HAVE to go in one! His narcissist traits rule out his living with any of his kids. Even the Golden Child isn't keen!  A few years ago it was posited
( right word? ) as NANO's JOB. until I pointed out that legally,  I would have to agree to that!
Fun and games for them? No, We got this