Update re my daughter's visits

[Adria]

Daughter called back today all excited about seeing us.  That's the way she's sounds lately anytime we talk on the phone.  I think she knows she blew it big time when she visited last.  Said she is on her way up north and wanted to stay a night with her family on the way up and a night on the way back.  I basically said, "Dh and I aren't up to hosting five people anymore, that it's just more than we can handle as it is taking a toll on our health. We need to make some changes."  I offered to meet them for lunch at the park or restaurant on their way through if they weren't going to bring their travel trailer.  She said, "Fine, we won't come then. I'll call you later this afternoon."  Haven't heard back.

It's too bad it had to come to this. I stayed strong and didn't waiver or get emotional on the phone. I feel sad and don't know what will happen next. But, I also feel a lot of relief. I guess time will tell. Thank you everyone for your support.

[GettingOOTF]

It sounds better than I expected it would.

You say she knows she blew it so she probably feels bad about that and annoyed at being called on it.

It's always hard to hear no for the first time. I don't think any of us react well to it.

I hope she has time to digest the news and realize it's for the best.

More importantly well done you for sticking to your guns and standing up for yourself. I'm sure it took a lot of courage.

[NumbLotus]

Good job! That took a lot of courage. I'd probably have a heart attack if I had that conversation with my MIL.

While it must hurt to be discarded (the "I'll call later" that left you hanging emotionally when she didn't, and her declining to meet you for lunch), I am glad she accepted it rather than barreling through your boundaries.

Great job.

[Adria]

GettingOOTF and NumbLotus,

Thank you for your thoughts and support.

My heat pounded out of my chest all night, and I couldn't sleep.  My daughter knows I have no family, and I think she thinks because of that I'll accept any of her abuses just not to lose her.  Maybe in some ways she's been right, up until now. My guess is that she will not call for an extended period of time to punish me. I don't think I mean that much to her anyway, so I guess we will see.