How's everyone doing out there????

[momnthefog]

Friends,

Happy spring....in my neck of the woods, it appears we finally have spring weather which in my state means it will now change to summer temps overnight!

I hope that each of you are well and staying relatively sane with whatever restrictions are currently in place in your state. 

I pray that each of you has found some peace, acceptance, and joy in your journey.  For most of us, Mother's Day comes and goes with mixed emotions.  I hope that each of you were able to honor the women in your life.

Please share an update and let us know how you are doing..

Hugs for each of you!

momnthefog

_________________

my update

I remain NC with BPDd. 

Son who moved out is doing well.  I invite him over about once a week for family dinners and he usually comes.  He chose to spend mother's day with his roommates family celebrating someone's birthday and mothers day but came by to give me a hug.  And that was o.k.  I am grateful for anyone who can get through to him. 

[Free2Bme]

Hi Mnfog,

Happy spring to you!  It's good to hear your son is making his own way and maintains connection with you.  How unfortunate about your DD and grandchild situation, I'm sure that is difficult for you. 

We are enjoying beautiful weather here now too, but in my state spring lasts for about an hour and 1/2 , then it'll be like the center of the earth for the next 3-4 months.

The pandemic hasn't been easy for us, but I know we fairing better than many folks.   I am grateful that my girls (21 & 15) and I have what we need and are healthy.  My son's (20 & 18) are still living with updxh 400 miles away, they are OK. 

My older son (whom I had to ask to leave 1 1/2 years ago) is doing mostly better these days; job, school, enlisted in Navy, respectful attitude toward me.  Younger son, not so great.  He's now showing some rebellion and really dumb choices of friends, some risk taking, conflict with D and brother, lying, etc.  He was honor role: until pandemic. None if this is surprising considering family dynamics (DS18 the GC, DS20 is SG), and updxh is a busy exec and began traveling every week leaving boys largely unsupervised and unaccountable over the last several months.  This is hard to watch from a distance, and it occupies a lot of my headspace. I pray. A lot.

You are accurate to say Mother's day conjures mixed emotions.  I am NC with my mom, her choice due to combo of dementia, her own issues, and influence of my updxh.  It is very sad when I think of how precious and fragile life is, and how much time is wasted. 

Being at home has afforded me much needed opportunity to get some things in order, spend time with my DD's, and some glorious alone time to spend just thinking about things.  I am a furloughed student healthcare intern and will be returning to the frontline on July 6.  This is anxiety producing, but don't think I have a choice if I want to graduate and pay the bills.  We'll see how this goes!

Thanks for posting. Take care !

[momnthefog]

Free,

Ex SiL has allowed me to mail and talk to grandchild.  He has applied for full custody and I pray that happens.  Grandchild is currently with him due to school closure and BPDmom (essentially) not wanting her around.  For those small steps I am very grateful to my SiL.

Glad to hear your son in the USN is doing better.  I'm a believer that military service is a great option for many young adults.  Perhaps younger son will take a similar path.  This lock down and sending kids home to learn will result in many issues down the line.  I'm a hsing advocate....but most parents did not choose this option b/c of work or not feeling prepared....and to now "require" it seems like there are a lot of kids who will fall between the cracks.  Not to mention of the difficult of those trying to get jobs and get launched into college or a career. 

It's wonderful to hear from you....and I hope that July 6 affords you the opportunity to get back to work....around here the beaches are filling up!

Hugs,

Momnthefog

[Free2Bme]

Thanks for your encouragement MnFog, 

Hopefully dad will gain custody of your GD sooner rather than later.  This is not ideal, but sounds best given her moms issues and disinterest.  It is wonderful that you maintain contact with her, good grandparents are so very important!

I too have ambiguity about effects of the online learning environment that's going on.  I also support HS'ing  (when done properly),  I enjoyed this with my 4 for 15 years, when I divorced my kids entered PS and have been successful academically/socially (with exception of #2, he was clinically depressed).  This most recent  transition to school at home was easier for my kido's because they had experienced school at home, it felt like an old hat to me. 

My younger son insists on driving 400 miles home today for a visit and to celebrate his 18 birthday with his sisters and I.  I'm fretting about him driving dangerous highways, maniac drivers, and his lack of prefrontal cortex.  I just thought it was hard when they were little    Parenting is not for the faint of heart!

Hugs

[blacksheep7]

Hi momnthefog,

I'm kinda late, better then never.   I hope you and the others out there are doing good.

It's summer and it's damn Hot right now, so indoors again ....lol

I'm glad that the lock down ended (anxiety came back) but still afraid for my/our health and cancelled my vacations to my great regret.  One year won't kill me.

My dd came by a couple of times at a distance with my gkids remaining in the car with the window open.  She will surprise me like that, call me when she's in front of the house.

Then sometimes no news for a month.  Honestly, I would love a call every couple of weeks.

Then we did the «backyard» visiting.  I accept, I don't push and if I don't hear from her, I call without making a comment about not hearing from her.

Have a nice Summer