Getting therapy in the time of COVID

[Carz]

I'm not doing too well. I think my siblings forced me into domestic servitude, but I'm still confused about things. I am home now, and I guess my sibs dont want anything else from me right now because they're leaving me alone. I'd like to see a counselor, but in this time of COVID it's  impossible to find anyone who will see me in person. I don't want counseling over phone or computer. All I do all day is cry. I am heartbroken that they would do this to me. I need to talk to someone in person. Any advice for me?

[GettingOOTF]

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

I don't like therapy over the phone either but it's what I'm doing now as there is no alternative. I decided the discomfort of the phone therapy is preferable to not being able to talk with my therapist.

Healing is difficult and we often have to do things we don't want to do. It's never easy, even under the best circumstances.

You could call some therapists and set up an appointment for when they can hold in person sessions again. That may make you feel like you have some control.

This is a difficult time and many are suffering because of the lack of in person contact with others. You can read and post here for support while you figure things out.

Hang in there.

[Carz]

I'm beginning to understand that my family normalized toxic behavior for me, and that's why I've had so many bad relationships. In one of those relationships, my boyfriend tapped my phones and bugged my house. Even though this was years ago, his friends still stalk me some times. I don't believe I will ever feel comfortable enough of phone or computer to talk honestly about my feelings. Hiding my feelings is the only power I have. My defense is to ghost people. If they know you are unhappy with them they won't let you sneak away from their social realm. I can't give up my best strategy.
I can't do counseling by phone or computer, as I said. I sort of feel like you weren't hearing that. I'm used to people telling me that I'm wrong, so that's what it sounded like you said.
I will just have t deal with this myself. I'm lonely but I'll survive. I always do.

[PeanutButter]

 I too have already done 3 phone counseling sessions because it is the only way it can be done. I dont like it. But I dont know of another way.

I would call to see how soon you can see someone back in the office.

Also I would like to recommend you to read articles, books, blogs, or forums. This could give you much needed information, validation, and hope.

I hear you that you have been through a trauma. Take a deep breath. Inhale from the bottom of your lungs to the top, then breath out slowly. Reassure yourself that you are now safe in your own home.

There isnt any way that your sibs can force you again if you dont allow it!

You now have a choice to call the police if they show up at your house. You have a choice to not answer the door. You have a choice to not be their domestic slave again. I dont know exactly what the scenario is but you can get a restraining order if you are being threatened. You dont even ever have to speak to them again if you 'choose' not to.

Its over. You do need to heal now.

Maybe you could read this to start. I hope it will feel empowering to you.

https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/saying-no.htm

[GettingOOTF]

I am sorry you feel unheard. I was sharing my experience. All we can do here is share what we do in similar circumstances.

I too have an abusive ex who stalked and monitors me. We are divorced and he still does. It’s a terrible situation to be in.

If you cannot speak on the phone then do you feel comfortable finding someone for when you can see them in person?

Two books that helped me the most in coming to terms with my family upbringing and the subsequent abusive relationships I found myself in were Codependent No More and Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft.

This is a very supportive community and people respond with good intentions. Many of us have been where you are. We all choose different paths out of it. All we can do here is share our own journeys and hope others find help and inspiration.

As they say in recovery - take what you need and leave the rest.