Add caught cheating to the list of “why’s”

[Stillirise]

For quite awhile now, I've had my suspicions about stbx uPDh, and a woman who at one point, I considered a friend.  She is also married, and has children close in age to our own. 

I knew they had been frequently texting for a long time.  Stbx made it seem like it was mostly about getting kids together, etc.  However, I'd noticed a drastic reduction in her reaching out to me.  Then, over the last few months, they had been known to go for a beer after work, etc.—as "friends."

I was moving ahead with my own plans for separation and divorce, so I didn't want to waste even more mental energy on whatever they had going on behind my back.  It was getting harder to ignore, but we are in a no-fault divorce state, and I'm trying to reduce conflict, so I thought why go looking for it?
Then, last week, someone with no skin in this game sent me a photo of their vehicles sitting together, then told me they could be seen plainly  "making out" inside one of them.  From the photo, I knew the location was a few minutes away. I just couldn't pass it up. I drove there, videoed the looks on their faces when I walked up to the window, exchanged a few brief words, then I left. No big confrontation—I just wanted them to know I knew. I had no need to stand around and listen to them create conflict and make excuses.

I have to admit, the satisfaction of seeing the looks on those faces, knowing they were busted, was sweet.  Maybe it was petty of me, but I have watched it in slow motion, and chucked about it, several times now.  It may sound strange to people who don't understand, but I don't care enough to be angry about it anymore.  It does help me feel more certain of my decisions, and more empowered moving forward, though.  You know what they say about Karma. 

[GettingOOTF]

Hopefully he will now fight the divorce less. You never know with the disordered though.

My ex also cheated. I found out after I left. From what I've read and noticed it seems like many PDs cheat.

I'm sorry it happened though. I hope you know that this is not about you. It's all his disordered thinking. I'm glad gig had a friend who thinks enough of you to tell you.

[Bowsy26]

Stillrise:  Good for you.  I understand very well where you are coming with this.  It's just one more antic of the PD.  So glad you are detached from the drama and ready to move on.  You go, girl!!