Breaking Up

[sadness2016]

I decided to end it with the narcissist and I sent a text saying I am done please do not contact me anymore after he had gone no contact and then hoovered and then proceeded to block me. He then screen shotted my text back to me and then sent me a message that said " I am done, I am out ,do not contact me anymore."  He hoovered me once before because I let him tangle me with a work email.  If I broke up with him do I have to be concerned about him returning. I only had this experience with a narc who literally left forever so I am unfamiliar with if they try to return or not. Why do they block you and unblock is that a pattern they continue or does there come a point you damage them enough they just leave. He lied he is married and cheats and he is the worst only comes to me when he wants something. I loved him but clearly meant nothing I need to be done and the last time he left I was good and moved on to a better place. I am just hoping that this break is clean as it has only been two days and I am struggling I cannot let him in.  Also if anyone can email me I need support during this time it has caused me to feel horrible.

[1footouttadefog]

Just remember that you deserve to be lived with honesty and integrity.  What you had was cheating and lies.  The man you fell in love woth never existed.  You did not know he was a married cheater amd you were presented with a false identity.

You feelings were real but his may never have been in return.  Or at least not entirely real as he was opperating under false pretenses. 

Keep the facts at the forefront.  Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship.  Also allow yourself when its emotionally safe to do so to examine  why you fell for the situatuin.  What warning signs did you overlook or make excuses for.  Wust about you allowed this to be.   Learn from these painful lessons.

I hope you are soon on the path to your best possible life.

[AD]

Sounds like he's trying to turn the tables on you - you can't reject him,  because HE'S not going to call you (immature attempt at manipulation). He's probably hoping that this statement will upset you, and that you'll run back apologizing and trying to change his mind.

It's hard to predict how PD people will act. Sometimes we spend so much time trying to figure them out, that we forget to shift the focus back to what we feel and want - maybe instead of wondering if he'll call, focus on what you want to happen next.

Never want to hear from him? Maybe you can block him. If not, what is the next best alternative? What else can you do to focus on taking care of you. Is there anything that brings you joy and may distract from thinking of him, even if only for a few minutes at a time?

[sadness2016]

Thank you this was helpful! I need to focus on me my heart hurts but the truth is the truth I have to block heal and move on.