This finnicky about toilet paper?!

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OddFamily

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This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« on: June 05, 2020, 01:16:50 AM »
Crazy making, I tell you.  I went to drop off a package of toilet paper to PD grandma as a favor to my mom.  Seriously, grandma is objecting that it is not wide enough (it's fine) and not round enough (really!?)  I said "This is what the store had, we can't afford to be choosy now."  She conceded the point, but still not happy about it.  I left out the 'what rock have you been living under' part and the 'this is what you have, like it or lump it'.  Seriously, be glad you have toilet paper.  Some of my coworkers are grieving the loss of family right now.       
I'm beginning to wonder if there's some OCD hiding in there as everything has to be just so.  I get not having control can ratchet up anxiety and control seeking maneuvers, but this is over the line and impeding functioning.
   

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2020, 11:22:20 AM »
Not round enough?  :doh:

Talk about ungrateful to make these comments when you're standing right there! Too bad she didn't have the good sense to wait until you left to mumble and complain.




« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 12:19:00 PM by SunnyMeadow »

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OddFamily

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2020, 09:45:53 PM »
The facepalm icon about sums it up. 
Seriously, I'm in healthcare now, and we have so many grateful and thankful patients right now.  But no, my own grandmother doesn't see past herself and chooses to complain about the most ridiculous thing.  If that's the way she's going to act, I'll stick with my work family right now.  I support them, they support me.  That's how it's supposed to work.     

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Andeza

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2020, 01:13:28 AM »
As the creepy lady on Pirates of the Caribbean said of the jar of dirt "You don't want it? Then give it back!"

Ah well, our pwPDs will never see any effort as good enough. You could have delivered the most perfect, round, fluffy, luxurious roll of designer toilet paper on a silver platter to her, just for the purposes of wiping her butt with it, and it would not have been good enough. Dare I say, she would have complained then that it was too perfect? Probably.  :roll:

Much love to you! Thank you for what you do!  :bighug:

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Boat Babe

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2020, 07:55:43 AM »
You could hand my mother Heaven on a plate and she would still find something to moan about, criticise and judge. And the bloody women passed these on to me as fleas. I hope I am nowhere near as toxic with this trait as she is, but I know to be mindful that I have this tendency too.

The real tragedy is that we had inadequate, damaging parents when we were children. *Sigh .....

Much love to you and all OOTF members.

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OddFamily

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2020, 06:19:11 PM »
Thanks, good to know it's not just her. 
I understand that grandma is feeling severely not in control (courtesy of being wheelchair dependent due to a hip fracture but that's another story), but deciding that her minions need to run around and find the exact toilet paper or other item she desires as a means of exerting control is not going to work.  We can't conjure up what stores don't have, and we're not going to expose ourselves and others more than strictly necessary.  My landlady has been verbal in her disapproval of me working in facility and it's left me feeling like a leper.  Thankfully she's in the minority, but I've been steering well clear of her for the time being.       

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Free2Bme

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2020, 07:53:25 PM »
OddFamily,

This sounds stressful and you were so kind to GM to care for her in this way. 

I would have been tempted to tell Goldie-Locks Grandma , "You know, you are so right. This is inferior TP, I'll return it immediately!"

 Then packed it up and left.  Sometimes, agreeing with the insanity drives the point home. 

Don't take it personally, its really not you!

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Associate of Daniel

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2020, 09:40:31 PM »
I can't resist a little story from many years ago.  I don't know if the person involved is pd or not...

My father's career was as a theatrical entrepreneur/venue management. He presented probably 1000s of live shows. Several backstage incidents stand out but this one left me rather gobsmacked.

One of our country's relatively famous actors had a one man show that toured nationally.  It was basically a show in which he presented his life story.  I guess he was famous enough for people to pay money to see it.

The night I saw it, (free of charge) the show started about 20 minutes late.  I was thinking the actor was running late to the venue or was sick...

I asked Dad after the show what the problem had been.  He was very reluctant to tell me at first.  Finally he told me that said actor had spent 20+ minutes having a tantrum because the cleaner had put the toilet paper roll on the holder "the wrong way".

I laughed and asked Dad what had really happened.  He said, shaking his head, "No. That's it.  The toilet paper was on the "wrong way"."

He had to deal with many spoiled theatrical divas in his time, many far more famous than this actor.  Funnily enough, I recall him working with this one on only one other occasion - and he was just as difficult.  There is such a thing as a black list. Even over toilet paper.

AOD


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OddFamily

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2020, 02:17:34 AM »
I need to take note of that, agree with the insanity to drive home the point.  Would be concerned about it reinforcing her, but whatever I do is not going to make a difference to her.  Did not feel like returning to the store and trying to haggle, but at another time I might.   
You're right, it's stressful right now for multiple reasons. 
Blacklisted for incorrect toilet paper installation fit, I will have to take note of that one.  I know the black list is real for performers, we were always warned about what not to do so we didn't get on it as students. 

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Cassandra T

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2020, 07:57:45 AM »
That's even worse than my uNPD mom. She has an immune disorder so I have been getting her groceries. When the shelves were pretty much empty of TP, I got her what was available, the cheap kind. She didn't really complain, amazingly, but she did eventually specify that she wants "soft, strong and 2-3 ply." I said, "if it's available." To me, as long as it absorbs moisture and doesn't fall apart, it's fine and we're lucky to have it at this point in history.

I was telling her there wasn't much meat or chicken, back when there wasn't, and she was telling me that they have it at the grocery store my brother shops at. That one statement tells me a lot:
1. It tells me she was repeating what I said about the meat shortage to my brother. And why would she tell him that? Most likely it was NOT passing along information from me or having an interesting conversation about the availability of meat. Most likely it was her checking to see what my brother had to say about it because she's not taking my word for it.
2. The way she said it implied that I was wrong; since it was at my brother's store in another city, it MUST be at mine too, and she believes I am being dishonest or am too dumb to see the meat right in front of me at the store.
3. If she has that attitude about it, my brother probably does too because of her influence. He is the golden child and I am the scapegoat.
4. Since she told him about that and had an attitude about it, it is surely not the only negative thing they have discussed regarding me.

Another thing: She was being difficult and impossible the other day when I was getting her grocery list from her, and she said "I think this is getting to be too much for you. Maybe I should start getting the store to deliver it." Of course, she won't see that what's getting difficult is HER, she has to invalidate me by insinuating that I'm incapable of handling getting her groceries. THEN, she proceeded to give me a list that sounded like she was trying to make it sound like a lot, thinking I would get frustrated. Usually she tells me "blueberries or strawberries." This time, she had a long list of fruit options. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that since it was the only time she's done that, and the way she was reading them off, it sounded like she was trying to be overwhelming. I realize it sounds like I'm assuming a lot in regard to her motives, and I could very well be wrong, but after 56 years I have a pretty good idea of what motivates her, and usually it turns out to be right.

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lkdrymom

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #10 on: August 04, 2020, 09:53:23 AM »
I find the best way to deal with people like this is to concede that you are just not capable of the task and they should find someone more suited to fill their needs.  Then stand back as the back peddling begins.

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SunnyMeadow

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Re: This finnicky about toilet paper?!
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2020, 11:36:52 AM »
she said "I think this is getting to be too much for you. Maybe I should start getting the store to deliver it."

"You're right mother, you should get the store to deliver to you!" End of discussion, gotta go now, bye!

Imagine her face if you had said that!  :bigwink:

I think you're right about her discussing this shopping situation with your brother. My mother will dissect every conversation right down to the fine details of what the person meant by a single word. I used to be a part of these discussions years ago before I came Out of the FOG. It's scary how they interpret things.