Lockdown relaxation - anyone else dreading it?

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PeanutButter

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Re: Lockdown relaxation - anyone else dreading it?
« Reply #60 on: July 07, 2020, 12:59:21 PM »
Yes 'respect' to the pds in my life means agreeing with them, allowing them to control me, and never calling out their hurtful behaviors.
P123 Does that seem consistent with what you feel you dad expects of you? If so you dont need to 'respect' him at all. IME
If there is a hidden seed of evil inside of children adults planted it there -LundyBancroft  Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong good or bad -DebbieFord The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none -Thomas Carlyle

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Adrianna

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Re: Lockdown relaxation - anyone else dreading it?
« Reply #61 on: July 13, 2020, 11:26:31 PM »
Yes 'respect' to the pds in my life means agreeing with them, allowing them to control me, and never calling out their hurtful behaviors.
P123 Does that seem consistent with what you feel you dad expects of you? If so you dont need to 'respect' him at all. IME

This is standard narcissism. Canít disagree with them, canít say no to what they want, and certainly canít call them out on their bad behaviors no matter how outrageous.

Itís like dealing with a 5 year old. In an adult body. They do have the emotional intelligence of a young child.
Practice an attitude of gratitude.

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p123

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Re: Lockdown relaxation - anyone else dreading it?
« Reply #62 on: July 14, 2020, 06:31:59 AM »
No thats cool nano.... Its nice to hear you're story too.

That is just awful but, I guess like a lot of us, its so familiar......

I've had this multiple times with the old "cant breathe/chest pains" thing. Lets just say hes never going to win an oscar for his acting - its awful.
I remember my wife once (shes a nurse) saw him during his act. Within literally 1 seconds she said "hes faking it".

Thanks P123. Iím so fed up. I think that thereís nothing he can do about being elderly, and he just hates it.
Also, his mum died of sudden heart failure. She was 95. I think this makes him anxious because she just WENT within minutes.
She was a total narcissist who abused my dad. She lived with my parents for 12 years and abused them both during that time. They let her. They excused their compliance as Ďrespectí.  I think itís why my dad expects me to let him abuse me. I think he feels cheated out if that ugly behaviour, that only stopped when obs day, she threatened to attack my mum. They then put her in a rest home.
She was a proper sociopath. I think they live long lives because nothing gets to them - except for their own fears about their own demise. Grandma would never discuss her funeral, nothing like that would she entertain.
I think your dad tries to press those Ďrespectí buttons too. They all do it.

Yes I think so - they seem to think they can behave as they want because you have to have "respect" for them.

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p123

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Re: Lockdown relaxation - anyone else dreading it?
« Reply #63 on: July 14, 2020, 06:33:59 AM »
Yes 'respect' to the pds in my life means agreeing with them, allowing them to control me, and never calling out their hurtful behaviors.
P123 Does that seem consistent with what you feel you dad expects of you? If so you dont need to 'respect' him at all. IME

Oh yes. His attitude seems to be "I'm your Dad, I'm old, I need your help, what I say goes, everyone will have to deal with it". Total lack of respect for anyone.

The thing is he doesn't "need" much help at all - he "wants" things done for him because either he can't be bothered or because he likes getting people to run around for him.