What I say goes - according to Dad anyway

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puellareginae

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Re: What I say goes - according to Dad anyway
« Reply #20 on: June 24, 2020, 08:29:18 PM »
I totally agree. Give him as little information as possible about you and your plans. Literally do not tell him anything personal unless absolutely necessary. Itís not worth the stress it will cause you.

Reasons I have limited my information to my grandparents. They will only use it to hurt.

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lkdrymom

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Re: What I say goes - according to Dad anyway
« Reply #21 on: June 27, 2020, 03:09:44 PM »
Another view is that if you make decisions that they would never do or go places they would never go, that to them says you are telling them they are wrong.  They don't understand the concept of 'having a different opinion'.  He probably spent his whole life around people who thought the way he did.  You like to travel and he won't travel farther than he can walk in an hour. My ex MIL was like that. Never left the 'neighborhood'.  Couldn't understand why when we got married it was in my home town.  FYI only 40 miles away.  You got married at the local church and bought/rented a place within blocks of your parents.  Your entire life was spent in a small little bubble. He cannot understand your desire to go to the USA.  Because he would never do that.  And by wanting to go you are saying there is something wrong with his ideas.

When we did buy a house about  20 minutes from my MIL...all her kids were shocked she actually came to visit at our house as it was 'so far away'.  It was unheard of for her to travel that far.

Yes I think thats it. He disagrees with EVERYTHING I do though. Job, holidays, kids etc etc.

My brother is the golden child. Everything he does is right. Works in a proper manual job, lives in hometown, blah blah blah.

Your brother is the golden child because he is just like your father.  You are not. Your father doesn't understand you.  And that reflects badly on him in his opinion.  You should be like them...where did he go wrong?

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p123

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Re: What I say goes - according to Dad anyway
« Reply #22 on: June 27, 2020, 08:30:01 PM »
Another view is that if you make decisions that they would never do or go places they would never go, that to them says you are telling them they are wrong.  They don't understand the concept of 'having a different opinion'.  He probably spent his whole life around people who thought the way he did.  You like to travel and he won't travel farther than he can walk in an hour. My ex MIL was like that. Never left the 'neighborhood'.  Couldn't understand why when we got married it was in my home town.  FYI only 40 miles away.  You got married at the local church and bought/rented a place within blocks of your parents.  Your entire life was spent in a small little bubble. He cannot understand your desire to go to the USA.  Because he would never do that.  And by wanting to go you are saying there is something wrong with his ideas.

When we did buy a house about  20 minutes from my MIL...all her kids were shocked she actually came to visit at our house as it was 'so far away'.  It was unheard of for her to travel that far.

Yes I think thats it. He disagrees with EVERYTHING I do though. Job, holidays, kids etc etc.

My brother is the golden child. Everything he does is right. Works in a proper manual job, lives in hometown, blah blah blah.

Your brother is the golden child because he is just like your father.  You are not. Your father doesn't understand you.  And that reflects badly on him in his opinion.  You should be like them...where did he go wrong?

You could be right here. We live in different worlds with different values honestly....