Introjected feelings

[Ladymm]

Hello all,

I was thinking of making a list of feelings that are not mine and were created as introjections from my family to keep me in the fog. I found out that digging through these feelings I come closer to my feelings which seem to emerge from what feels like a void, but later i see there is an alive person under. I will list the feelings and add my mothers (except one) messages, connected to them:

- pity - "poor grandma, what she did to you, she loves you, why you dont visit her" or "poor your father he goes to work to provide for you" or "i had to work afternoons and had two children"
- feeling less and confrontation with others "i was beautiful, once i was a model for a wedding magazine picture" "if i died i am worried because you are an uncaring person and who woud take care of your sister"
- feeling guilt that you should take e care of ppl "you think we all are shit"
- feeling having no worth and therefore feeling the necessity to attach too your family otherwise there is no spot for you under the sun to survive nd thrive"i wanted to abort you because back in the 1980s all had abrtions"
-feeling guity when you enjoy life and look to satisfy your higher needs, also finding no purpose in having an intellectual job and enjoy it "when i was 7 i had to work, it was hard, you are lucky- this one by grandma"

Some of thewse messages are true episodes but their use is manipulation. Through these feelings i connected in enmeshment with my family.

I dont know i just want to share this with you🙂i think to put the focus on your wellbeing and hoping they find theirs might be the key

[SunnyMeadow]

I dont know i just want to share this with you🙂i think to put the focus on your wellbeing and hoping they find theirs might be the key

Thanks for sharing this Ladymm! I take on a lot of things that aren't mine and I need to stop. This is a good reminder for me this morning 

[freedom77]

Thank you Ladymm..
This is a very good idea. I should do this too as I am loaded with feelings that don't belong to me, but rather were infused into me since birth.
Incidentally, my mother said the same thing to me about abortion, how much she regrets cancelling her appointment that day. I was just a child when she first started singing that tune, and it stung deeply, really hurt.
As I got older I started to realize something.

I agreed with her.

Yes, should have aborted the embryo that later became I. We BOTH would have been better off.

I repeated this to her, and her mouth formed a perfectly shaped 0 in shock. She no longer was able to use that weapon of hurt against me.

Regardless of how one feels about abortion, and it certainly is not my intent to bring about a debate on the topic, nor to offend, these are just my personal feelings not representative of anyone else's.

But I feel that the soul, the spirit that makes me, me would still exist. I just would have floated over to another woman's womb, and incarnated her child. And maybe I would have been far better off for it.

She would have been better off too, not having yet another fatherless child to feed, raise in poverty, and abuse and damage.

Anyway, your idea is great, and I'm hoping it will help me unload a lot of burdensome feelings that aren't mine to bear.

[Maxtrem]

Wow bravo Ladymm, your post is brilliant. I realize that it's those feelings that are causing me a lot of anxiety today! An anxiety that's getting harder and harder to control.

[Ladymm]

SunnyMeadow,
You are welcome! I think this spiritual disintoxication takes time and effort through constant awareness.

Frewedom77,

You are welcome🙂you gave a good answer to your mother! It takes courage to say that, because all kinds of intwrnal critical voices can stop you.. For what is just an honrst answer. My mother mentioned the abortion story just once so i missed thew train and also is easily offended so such an answer would maybe stir more drama if i mention it lol. Also she would say she never said it. I am sorry your mother is being invasive, but from your words i see the awareness you are doing the right thing is already in your soul. Try to watch the infused feelings like clouds in a sky, this is what my therapist told me. They are not who you are.

Maxtrrm, thank you, i am glad you found my post helpful🙂i was inspired to share this maybe divine wisdom was channeled through me😁🙂

[PeanutButter]

Hi ladymm.

There are videos by Jerry Wise where he discusses the difference between True Feelings verses Systems Feelings based on the Family Systems Theory by Murray Bowen.

"Systems feelings ...are not the true state of our feelings. True feelings are pushed out or overwhelmed by these "systems feelings" which arise from our past ..."
https://youtu.be/P0qgF_pIR3U

IME I relate to what you posted here and it reminded me of my 'aha' moment when I learned that there were two different 'feelings systems' at work in me.

Thank you for sharing!

[Ladymm]

Hi peanutbutter,

Thank you for the video but ironically i once already saw it and thought the same thing as you did and it really givrs you the aha moment. A complex situation very well explained. The idea of having these feelings is crazy but the problmatic is so true.it is important to know these feelings invaded your being.

[PeanutButter]

Lol you already saw it.
Yes it helped me so much!