Im new here

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Im new here
« on: July 06, 2020, 06:47:09 PM »
I'm new here. I just posted my situation over in the committed relationships board. A little more about me though.

I'm co-dependent and working on it. It's something that was only pointed out to me in the last year and it's made a lot of my behavior sort click. I think I understand myself better after coming to that realization.

I grew up adopted. My parents had a biological child shortly afterwards and the two of us even to this day don't get on. I have a very different way of thinking from my family. We don't see eye to eye on really anything, be it political, religious, or my life's decisions. My father has a PD and our time together is usually him "teasing me" about one thing or another.

I was married for 10 years. She wanted kids and that wasn't something I could provide for her apparently. We drifted apart and it ended when I found out she was pregnant with her best friends baby.

I immediately got into a very unhealthy relationship with an ex-girlfriend who I later found out was using me to borrow money for drugs.

After I gathered myself I found my current girlfriend. Once again, I posed about this situation in the committed but working on it board. If anyone would like to offer me advice on the situation I'd greatly appreciate it.

I spent 9 months in therapy. I should go back but, if I'm honest, the therapist I was seeing towards the end was just rehashing and refamiliarizing themselves with my situation for 45 minutes every session. It got less and less beneficial.

I am working on me. I'm in a terrifying situation. I have no friends anymore. I have no time for me and my hobbies, but there is a baby now and that's fairly normal.

I really hope this doesn't read as a "woe is me" thread.



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Re: Im new here
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2020, 07:46:05 PM »
Welcome! You have been through a lot. I would not go back to that therapist but rather try to find one who knows about trauma and PDs.

Sounds like you are self aware and working on yourself. You might find the Toolbox a place where you can find strategies that assist you when dealing with the people with PDs in your life.

See you around on the boards.
Our march to freedom is irreversible. We must not allow fear to stand in our way.  Nelson Mandela



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Re: Im new here
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2020, 08:07:02 PM »
Welcome. Working on my Codependency has brought about changes I never would have dreamed about. My life is so full now and I feel at peace most of the time. Itís such a different way of living.

You will find many here who share and understand your experiences. I hope you find the support and healing you are looking for.