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khaleesi

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new here
« on: July 07, 2020, 10:05:24 PM »
I'm new here.

I've been a victim of narcissistic abuse for nearly 3 years. I've been aware of it for quite some time, but I don't know how to escape the relationship.

Today, I found my S.O. hiding porn from me (this happened before and I almost left him for it) and he keeps lying saying it was a "pop-up".

He continued to shift the conversation into how I am "crazy" and I can't rely on my "intuition". This is a general conversation we have riddled with constant gaslighting and insulting.

I decided to find a support group just to be there and maybe think of ways to escape

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xredshoesx

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Re: new here
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2020, 08:32:38 AM »
welcome to the forum khaleesi,

i am glad you are reaching out for support- leaving someone who has a PD or uPD can be a difficult, long/ drawn out and even dangerous process.  you are very wise to start thinking about an exit plan and seeking out support to help you see your way through this.   i was with my abusive ex for 5 years, and we had  DV incident that almost landed us both in jail so i know exactly how far someone with those tendencies will go in order to control, demean and demoralize someone.

 i do want to make sure you have some resources to start with-  this may help you plan and get things ready to leave.  Here are some links that might help you make some decisions.

Here is a link on creating a Safety Plan or Kit and a checklist for leaving:
http://womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/get-help-for-violence/safety-planning-for-abusive-situations.html

Personal Safety
http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/ensure-your-own-personal-safety

Put Children First
http://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/put-children-first

To avoid circular conversations, don't JADE Justify Argue Defend Explain
http://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/3/jade-dont-justify-argue-defend-explain

I do hope you are being careful to not allow your SO access to your browser or phone history.  remember to log out of the site and clear your browser history.  even if he is just being verbally or financially abusive he may use your activities online as a further way to target you.

please be safe and when you feel comfortable enough to share more about your situation we're listening-